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skipthisone
12-06-2002, 10:18 AM
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in Sydney and mine is in Melbourne.

3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. Then she said, "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!". So I bought her an electric chair.

7. Remember.... Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
Statistically, 100% of all divorces started with marriage.

8. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

9. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

10. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"....I said, "Dust!"


Ladies, Please refrain from stone throwing.

Coach Knight
12-06-2002, 11:25 AM
11. Wife says, "I want to make my breasts bigger."
Husband says, "Rub toilet paper over them, you do that to your ass and it's been getting bigger for years."

FussyPucker
12-06-2002, 12:12 PM
Let's not forget that :-

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.

hehehe

Lorelei
12-06-2002, 02:38 PM
Originally posted by skipthisone
Ladies, Please refrain from stone throwing.

I'm definitely no fan of sexist jokes (why are sexist jokes OK in our society, but racist jokes are not??). But I will say this:

I do believe it was the women who started this, Skip. If one dishes it out, one should also be able to take it. :)

Sharni
12-06-2002, 03:33 PM
LMAO.....they're good STO

Keep going fellas....i for one am getting a laugh

Lilith
12-06-2002, 04:57 PM
# 5, 8, and 9 all apply at my house............he's behind me nodding;)

GermanSteve
12-06-2002, 07:41 PM
Heeeeeeeheeeeee, arenīt the bad jokes the best jokes?

But, women, never forget, we couldnīt live without you!!

incitatus
12-06-2002, 09:26 PM
12. Man isn't complete until marriage: then he's finished.

incitatus
12-06-2002, 09:27 PM
I think, therefore I am...




...single.

BIBI
12-06-2002, 09:34 PM
This is an equal opportunity line........Grandma says!!!!

Love is blind......but marriage is an eye opener!

LixyChick
12-07-2002, 11:15 AM
Um.............Well Um..............Oh fuck! Never mind!

DildoDiva'sMan
12-07-2002, 12:53 PM
OK, since we're on the sexist jokes, (I'm sure some have seen this one in an e-mail)

The wife goes into the kitchen and sees her husband stalking around with the fly swatter.
She says "What are you doing"
He says "Hunting flies"
She says "Oh, really. Having any luck?"
He says "Yep. I got three males and two females."
She says "How do you know if they are male or female?"
He says "Three were on a beer can, and two were on the phone."

69 HER
12-07-2002, 01:07 PM
I know lots of sexist jokes

but this one always holds true in my house

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?




















No one knows, they would rather sit in the dark and bitch about it!

Just this morning as a matter of fact.

big_yin
12-07-2002, 02:42 PM
this is a bit of a shot off at a tangent but............

" Whats pink and wrinkly and hangs out your boxers?


















Your mum!

See below for other wise cracks at women!!!!
and by the way? I don't believe any of them, or so i was told to say by her in doors!!!!!

Nikki
12-09-2002, 06:46 AM
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!