dm383
05-24-2003, 06:09 AM
The Washington Post annually publishes a contest for readers
in which
they
> > are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words.
The following
were
> > some of the winning entries in this year's contest:
> >
> > 1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
> >
> > 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you
have gained.
> >
> > 3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat
stomach.
> >
> > 4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
> >
> > 5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
> >
> > 6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you
absentmindedly
> > answer the door in your nightie.
> >
> > 7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
> >
> > 8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
> >
> > 9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up
after you
are
> > run over by a steamroller.
> >
> > 10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
> >
> > 11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
> >
> > 12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed
by a
> > proctologist immediately before he examines you.
> >
> > 13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation
with Yiddish
> > expressions.
> >
> > 14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer
shorts.
> >
> > 15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die,
your soul
goes
> > upon the roof and gets stuck there.
> >
> > 16. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
> >
> > Each year the Washington Post's Style Invitational asks
readers to take
any
> > word from the dictionary alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing
one
> > letter and then supply a new definition. Here are the 2001
winners:
> >
> > 1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which
lasts until
you
> > realize it was your money to start with.
> >
> > 2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
> >
> > 3. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the
purpose of
> > getting laid.
> >
> > 4. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
> >
> > 5. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit
and the
person
> > who doesn't get it.
> >
> > 6. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are
running late.
> >
> > 7. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
> >
> > 8. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (this one got extra
credit)
> >
> > 9. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off
all these
really
> > bad vibes, right? And then, like, the earth explodes and
it's like, a
> > serious bummer.
> >
> > 10. Glibido: All talk and no action.
> >
> > 11. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem
smarter when
they
> > come at you rapidly.
> >
> > And, the pick of the literature:
> >
> > 12. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
in which
they
> > are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words.
The following
were
> > some of the winning entries in this year's contest:
> >
> > 1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
> >
> > 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you
have gained.
> >
> > 3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat
stomach.
> >
> > 4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
> >
> > 5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
> >
> > 6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you
absentmindedly
> > answer the door in your nightie.
> >
> > 7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
> >
> > 8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
> >
> > 9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up
after you
are
> > run over by a steamroller.
> >
> > 10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
> >
> > 11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
> >
> > 12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed
by a
> > proctologist immediately before he examines you.
> >
> > 13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation
with Yiddish
> > expressions.
> >
> > 14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer
shorts.
> >
> > 15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die,
your soul
goes
> > upon the roof and gets stuck there.
> >
> > 16. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
> >
> > Each year the Washington Post's Style Invitational asks
readers to take
any
> > word from the dictionary alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing
one
> > letter and then supply a new definition. Here are the 2001
winners:
> >
> > 1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which
lasts until
you
> > realize it was your money to start with.
> >
> > 2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
> >
> > 3. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the
purpose of
> > getting laid.
> >
> > 4. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
> >
> > 5. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit
and the
person
> > who doesn't get it.
> >
> > 6. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are
running late.
> >
> > 7. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
> >
> > 8. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (this one got extra
credit)
> >
> > 9. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off
all these
really
> > bad vibes, right? And then, like, the earth explodes and
it's like, a
> > serious bummer.
> >
> > 10. Glibido: All talk and no action.
> >
> > 11. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem
smarter when
they
> > come at you rapidly.
> >
> > And, the pick of the literature:
> >
> > 12. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.