A new blonde joke ...

[dicksbro]

Blonde in a Blizzard ... This is very enjoyable! It made me laugh anyway.


It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the little blonde got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home. She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation. She finally remembered her daddy's advice that, if she got caught in a blizzard, she should wait for a snowplow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in a snow drift.

This made her feel much better and, sure enough, in a little while a snowplow came by. She started to follow it. As she followed the plow she was feeling very smug as they continued and she wasn't having any problem with the blizzard conditions. After quite sometime had passed, she was somewhat surprised when the snowplow stopped. The driver got out, came back to her car and signaled for her to roll down her window.

The snowplow driver wanted to know if she was all right as she had been following him for a long time. She replied she was fine and told him of her daddy's advice to follow a snowplow when caught in a blizzard. The driver replied that it was OK with him and she could continue if she wanted, but he was done with the Walmart parking lot and was going over to Target next.

[Cobalt]

ROTFLMAO

[IAKaraokeGirl]

OMG. As a blonde, I can't believe I laughed at that. :D

[lakritze]

First blonde guy joke.A blonde guy walks into a hardware store looking for something to clear a couple acres of trees on his new property.The owner brought out the latest top of the line chain saw and told the guy, with this you can clear your entire property in a couple of days.Fine,I'll take it the guy said.The next morning he brought it back to the store and tld the owner that he thought something was wrong with it.I was baely able to cut through one tree with it,he explained.Here le me see it the store owner said.He starts it up.Runnn nnnaw Runnn nnaw Runnnn nnnawa.The blonde guy cups his hands over his ears and says.YYYOOOOWWW!!! Whats that noise????

[Sharni]

LMAO

[fzzy]

OK - a friend sent me this one today ....

A couple of blond men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blond men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos." The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?" The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck.

He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours." "Alright. How long do you need them?" The customer paused for a minute and said, "Uh... I'd better go check."

After awhile, the blond returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house.

[dicksbro]

LMAO lakritze and fzzy. Us ... even formerly blond guys (now more gray) deserve those. They were great! :D

[gryphon]

Blonde girl finds herself in credit card debt so decides to go door to door to see if anyone needs any odd jobs done. a neighbor, taking pity agrees to let her paint his porch. she quotes him $50. he tells her where the paint and supplies are and goes back inside. His wife asks him if he thinks the blonde knows its a wrap around porch? The man says to not be so stereo typical, the wife feels guilty. An hour later the blonde knocks on the door telling the neighbor that she was done... he says "already" and the bonde replies..."yup, and had enough left over paint for a second coat. And by the way, its not a porch, its a lexus."

[dicksbro]

OMG, gryphon. I think we're both going to be on a hit list. :D :D

[ryker]

HAHAHAHAHA..........good to see some guy ones too....inside everyone is a little blonde waiting to get out

[gryphon]

who me...but I'm innocent...

[gryphon]

ya'll know what a blonde is right..........???

a redhead with the fire fucked outta her......!

~ducks to avoid flying objects~ hehehehe...yup, i'm a redhead....:banner:

[FussyPucker]

You know you people really should encourage me !!!

A blonde woman named Brandi finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help.
She begins to pray... "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."

Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it.

Brandi again prays... God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."
Lotto night comes and Brandi still has no luck.

Once again, she prays... "My God, why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask you for help, and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order"
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Brandi is confronted by the voice of God Himself...

"Brandi, work with Me on this. Buy a ticket."

[FussyPucker]

You don't wanna know how many of these jokes I've got hehehe :D

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana.

As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.

As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are...very slowly?"

The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrrrr, gerrrrrrr, Kiiiiing.

[FussyPucker]

Ok and here's one to stop the blondes beating the crap out of me :D:D

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and visa-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $50!" figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail. After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $50. The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

[dicksbro]

LMAO FP!

[gryphon]

That was a good one..lmao

[FussyPucker]

are ya ready for more ?..... No ? ......well tough titty !

Legend has it that there is a bar in New York where, in the Ladies Room, there is a very special mirror. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth, one is granted a wish. However, if one tells a lie, *POOF* you are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again. A redhead of questionable looks walks into the Ladies Room and stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world." *POOF* The mirror swallows her. Next, a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, "I think I think I'm the sexiest woman alive! *POOF* The mirror swallows her. Then an absolutely gorgeous blond comes in and stands before the mirror and says, "I think..." *POOF*

[BigBear57]

LOL FP Cute
One young blonde wife was suspicious her hubby was having an affair and discovered the ultimate proof one afternoon. She came in unexpectedly from the mall and caught hubby and his secretary partially dressed and obviously interruppted. Our blonde is furious, and confronts hubby. When all he can do is say I'm sorry she produces a gun from her purse. She then points the business end of the barrel at her own temple. Hubby screams "No, No Honey... we can sort this out!" She quips in return "Shut up asshole, you're next!"

[dicksbro]

ROTFLMAO!