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View Full Version : Things you probably won't see on a Hallmark card:

skipthisone
10-03-2003, 10:04 AM
10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk
But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.

9. Our love will never become cold and hollow
Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.

8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store
In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.

7. This feels so good, it feels so right
I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.

6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class
Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.

5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished
But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!

4. Through all the things that came to pass
Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass.

3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie
I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".

2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny
So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!

1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister,
you should check out the one that I gave to your sister!
IAKaraokeGirl
10-03-2003, 10:22 AM
OMG ROTFLMAO
Steph
10-03-2003, 11:19 AM
Are these lines from Skip's diary? :)
Lilith
10-03-2003, 11:54 AM
TY skippy~ I know someone who has a birthday coming up and some of these express my sentiments exactly:p


5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished
But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMMICH!!!;)
darogle
10-03-2003, 04:59 PM
LMAO!!!
Sharni
10-03-2003, 05:19 PM
LOL
Navarre
10-03-2003, 06:04 PM
Originally posted by Steph
Are these lines from Skip's diary? :)

Sounds like they're from someone's diary.
dicksbro
10-03-2003, 07:07 PM
Those are terrific, STO.
lakritze
10-04-2003, 10:51 AM
Idea for a new greeting card business....
Amaranthine
10-05-2003, 12:57 PM
hahaha!
tdot
10-06-2003, 11:06 PM
there needs to be hallmark cards to say those things. if card are supposed to represent the things we want to say...arent we thinking some of those things anyways.
Oldfart
10-16-2003, 12:10 PM
I was sent by a friend last year (on re-cycled computer printout

folded to look like a card)

Times are tough, things are hard,

Here's your fucking Xmas Card.


This year I plan to send him one with a Nativity scene on the front

and the line "Jesus loves you", and inside:-

Everyone else thinks you're an arse-hole.

Just as well I like the bloke lol.
jseal
10-16-2003, 01:10 PM
skipthisone,

Good lines! Wish I was young enough to use them...
babybunny
10-16-2003, 03:15 PM
:D
wraith
10-17-2003, 12:58 PM
I like these, I might just have to use a few of them.