My cousin-in-law slit her wrists tonight

[Gilly]

My husbands 17 year old cousin slit her wrists tonight. She is on probation for weed, and her mother found out tonight that she has been buying vicodin on the street since January. She also found out that Emma's been using someone elses urine for her drug tests.

They got into a fight, and her mom told her to stay in her room until her dad got home. In the mean time, Emma found sissors in the room, and slit her wrists, and then called her friend from her room. She told the friend she had an accident, and asked her to come over. The friend found her hiding in her closet watching her blood come out.

The friend called the mom up, who tried to get Emma out of the closet. Emma was kicking and screaming against it, while her sister called 911.

She missed her vein and the tendens, and is being transported to a psyche ward tonight.


:(

[imaginewithme]

I am so sorry to hear about all that. In some strange way, this is going to help her out tho.

I hope she'll be doing great soon.

Hugs to you.

[wyndhy]

OMG, Gilly. that is just awful news. i can't really think of anything to say except hang in there, be with your family, and i hope everything gets better in the future.

(((((hugs)))))

[darogle]

Horrible circumstances but maybe now your cousin can get the help she so desperately needs. My prayers are with her, you and your entire family.


((((((GILLY)))))))

[cbass1976]

sorry to hear that

[jennaflower]

(((Hugs)))) hopefully she will get all the help she needs...

[imalikalotapuss]

HUGS..Gilly, i know how you feel. I have done almost the same thing, and i was sent to a psyc ward too. Once i was there i realized that i wasnt the only one that had problems. I learned to talk to others about things that bother me,and ways to deal with my many many problems. My life isnt great yet, but it certainly is better. Hopefully your young cousin will find this to be a blessing in disguise.

[dreamgurl]

I'm sorry that this happened, this should help her see that she is loved. I pray for you and your family, and mainly her hold strong durring this rough time.

I can say that I do have some idea of how she feels, about two years ago I got desperate because of some things that were happening and took about 100 of extra strength tylenol and 25 other pain killers I can't remember the name of at the same time. I am so thankful now that those didn't work. Lessons are sometimes learned the hard way. :heart:

[LarryL]

That is so sad and so hard on a family. Make sure you and your husband help hold eachother up and be supportive for the rest of the family. Your cousin-in-law will probably get the help she needs now. I wish her, you, and your family extra love.

[Coaster]

Well at least you know that she was crying out for help and didn't really want to die..... that's why she made the phone call.

I had an old gf that did the same thing... twice... with a razor blade in the bathtub, just before her roomie was expected home. She too wanted help and attention....

Still it's tough on those close to her.... (((hugs))) to you all to have extra strength for her........ she'll need every ounce of it... and then some. Good luck.

[Belial]

:( Sorry to hear it. But hopefully she'll come out of it okay.

Big hugs to you and your family.

[Gilly]

Thank you all for your thoughts and support. She is resting at the psychiatric hospital now, and will remain there for an eval for a minimum of 3 days, but possibly longer. Because of her probation, she may be required to stay longer, we're not entirely certain yet.

After talking with my husband, both of us are almost certain that she did it more to get the attention, than to kill herself. We are all very greatful that she did call her friend right away. Hopefully the time around others and doctors will help her out a lot.

Again, thank you!

[Grumble]

I just read this thread and am so sorry for your cousin-in-law and all the family.

I once put my family through the hell of an attempted suicide and luckily it was a turning point for me because I got the help I needed.

[LixyChick]

((((((Gilly & Family)))))))

Sending good thoughts your way!

[Aqua]

(((((HUGS)))))

After reading your first post I thought the same thing you mentioned in you latter post, it sounded to me like it was for attention rather than an actual intent to die. I pray she will be ok and have the strength and courage to make better choices in life.

[WildIrish]

I hope and pray that she sees the love her family has for her.

(((Gilly)))

[Summer]

I hope she gets the help she has cried out for. She is a lucky person to have so many care for her. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

[Gilly]

Thank you again for all the nice replies. :)

I talked to her mom for a while yesterday (she stopped by to see us), and found out that Emma's hopefully coming home on Monday. They have started her on an antidepressent, as well as a mood stabilizer.

When they were checking her over, they found that she had been cutting herself for a while. :( Mostly on her upper thigh, where it wouldn't be seen, even in shorts.

She said she did that because she felt numb, and wanted to feel something. :(

She did say she wants to get better, though, and hopefully these medicines, along with the counsling, will help her figure out what it is she thinks she's missing.

In the mean time, her mom wants to take her out and do things with her more now, so next weekend the three of us are going to go around to yard sales. It's the fair next weekend, so the town will be packed with sales.

She also wants Emma to be around the kids more (supervised for a while), because she just loves to be around them, espcially lil Gilly.

[Ranger1930]

coming from a stand point.. on... a young adult.. and what goes through the minds of young adults this day and age... and what we deal with...



This may seem a bit controversial and piss some people off..


But.. I don't think any of you have a right to judge what she did..

it was her decision and if she wanted to smoke weed.. that is her decision. and if she wanted to take vicodin because she felt life was getting a bit rough around the edges.. she should not condemned...


Something in her life pushed her to take those scissors and do what she did..

And to me.. it sounds like a lack of compassion. Her cry for help was not the scissors..


her cry for help was turning to the drugs.. and using them .. instead of turning to her family.. which is who should truely help with the pain...


the scissors... are what became of crys of help fallen upon deaf ears

[Grumble]

I just read through all the replies and there is no condemning at all Ranger.

We are all concerned for her and sorry that she has problems in her life that led her to do this.

There is a lot of support for Gilly, the young lady concerned and her family.

I know that pressures on young adults these days cause some problems that were not present when I was that age. It is very difficult to gauge what someone's mental state is like especially with untrained people like most parents are. The signs were there but the parents probably could not recognise them.

It a hard path for everyone

I like that she is being cared for by her family and nutured. Children are great therapy, their innocence and appeal seems to penetrate the darkest mood.

[Rick Forbes]

How awful, Gilly. I can't believe I didn't see this thread yesterday. You and your family are all in our thoughts.

It sounds like she is in the right place. It must have been a terrible burden to keep her vicodin relapse a secret from all of the people who loved her, and she must have been filled with shame and fear. In-patient evaluation, drug treatment (and I can't stress this enough) twelve step work and counseling FOR THE ENTIRE FAMILY is the only way my family was able to support my recovery several years ago.

Addiction is a terrible disease. The addict's brain is careening wildly between numbness and induced euphoria one moment and shame the next. The parts of our brain that crave connection and spiritual growth begin to shut down, and the parts of us that live in fear and guilt grow and grow and grow. And we get more and more afraid of honesty, intimacy, and vulnerability. For years, I used to lie awake at night hoping that if I could fall asleep maybe I would die before I woke and be released from the torture of my life.

It sounds like your cousin has, for whatever reason, run out of places to hide. This could be an incredible blessing for her and her entire family: People in recovery often learn to thank their Higher Power for the consequences of their actions, because this can often force them to confront themselves and see that the adaptive strategy of isolation was doomed to failure.

I wish her and your entire family peace, strength, and hope.

[jentheredhead]

i do not know you or your loved one but my thoughts are with you as i read through this thread. i hope all turns out okay and her days become brighter soon. i am sorry.

[Aqua]

Ok Ranger... Please point out who is condemning Emma and where?

Also, in case you missed it, she is 17... it wouldn't even be ok for her to decide to smoke cigarettes at that age. She was taking prescription pills without a prescription and smoking pot... both are illegal at any age.

We don't know her situation at home either. Teens are very good at putting on their 'everything's fine' face and parents can't always see through it.

So far, the only condemnation I see in this thread is coming from you, directed to the parents, and their is no evidence here that they ignored or ever saw any signs that could be construed as a signal that help was needed.

[Gilly]

coming from a stand point.. on... a young adult.. and what goes through the minds of young adults this day and age... and what we deal with...

What 'we' deal with? How old are you? Because she's just barely 17, and yes, I'm not a whole lot older, and have a sister her age, so I do still recall what it's like to be that age. Clinically speaking, I was a manic depressive from the time I was about 12. I understand fully feeling like there's no help, and no feelings.

This may seem a bit controversial and piss some people off..


But.. I don't think any of you have a right to judge what she did..
Please point out where anyone was judging her. I was saying what happened, and several very nice people were saying that they hoped she got better, and that we were in their thoughts.

it was her decision and if she wanted to smoke weed.. that is her decision. and if she wanted to take vicodin because she felt life was getting a bit rough around the edges.. she should not condemned...

She was never condemed for taking vicodin, she was told that day that it was wrong, as well as being against her probation. She tested positive for both pot, and vicodin when she was at the hospital that evening, which are both in direct violation of her probation. That aside, not a single person here, or in our family, has turned our backs to the problem, and said it was all her fault. There was no condmning involved.


Something in her life pushed her to take those scissors and do what she did..

And to me.. it sounds like a lack of compassion. Her cry for help was not the scissors..

There was never a lack of compassion involved. The problems assosicated with cutting are usually of a mental variety, and don't come about simply because of things going on around the person. The person may cut in retaliation to what goes on around them, but the problem itself doesn't come about that way. Had she asked anyone, myself, my husband, her parents, anyone at all, she would have gotten the help she needed

her cry for help was turning to the drugs.. and using them .. instead of turning to her family.. which is who should truely help with the pain...

the scissors... are what became of crys of help fallen upon deaf ears

Again, there were no cries. Drugs in today's society (and even in past time) are done to feel good. You don't do them simply to escpae a shitty life. People of all races, economical standing, and family lives take drugs. She started taking drugs when her friends started taking drugs. She continued because it felt good.



I'm sorry if you think my response was rude, but you implying that the entire problem is our families fault is both ignorant and rude.

Emma is a very bright girl who fell in with a crowd that drank, smoked, and did drugs. Peer pressure is a very powerful thing, especially in people who don't see any of the vices as being wrong.

I'm confidant that she will recieve the help she needs, and that she'll pull out of this strongly.

Again, to everyone else, thank you for your support. I know none of you know me or my family in person, but all of your words and knowing you were thinking of us was very comforting.

[musketeer]

There but for the grace of god go I. My thoughts are with you and your family especially Emma. I hope she has taken the first step on the road to a brighter future and a full recovery.

[nikki1979]

(((((((((((hugs)))))))))) to all ur family ,i hope things will get easier for her i still remember how confussing and harsh teen years were for me i hope she sees now that she can turn to u and the rest of the family for the help and support that she needs. im very glad that she didnt cut herself worse than she did and that she called a friend.

nikki

[Ranger1930]

Your treating her like she is this thing....

this object you can mold and shape however you damn well please...

She is a human being. and human beings don't need to be put in mental hospitals.

I was in one for almost 10 months out of my life.. I never deserved to go, I got sent because of a pshyco step mother who just wanted to get rid of me.

They do not treat you like a person there. they treat you like your some kind of freak. or addict.

I can't even respond to this properly. Gilly.. your response was so.... typical..

Because obviously if you had issues with mental depression, and drugs then you would understand this.. But I am done with this. I've already created enough waves.. go.. do whatever the hell you want with your peice of clay... apparently thats all she is to you.

[Gilly]

Where exactly do you look at it as we are trying to shape her into our images? She's her own person, just as you are. And just because you may have had a shitty go of it, doesn't mean YOUR situation applies to her any more than mine might.

You can't judge people you don't know.

[Kissy]

Wow Ranger, I'm sorry you feel that way about those places. I spent a year in one, as a very young teen. I learned a lot about myself and my problems. Mental illnesses are as real as physical ones, in fact many times they're linked. Sometimes people need help in dealing with them. No matter how old you are.

Gilly, she is very lucky to have people who care about her. I can only imagine how scared and numb she must have been to do what she did. And I'd bet she's glad to have all the love and attention she can get. That's also something we all need, at any age. ;)

[Oldfart]

Ranger is right, and wrong.

We have a desire to see Gilly's cousin-in-law "return to the fold", which

is a little arrogant, but we like it.

Gilly's CIL has the right to be who and what she wants, but in this case

has made the classic steps to seek help.

An asylum should be a place of refuge and healing, but often is not.

It is, however, vastly preferred to the self-destructive spiral she was on.

It'll give her the chance to make up her mind in her own time, before

non-life becomes her only option.

[skyler_m]

I'll only say ((((((hugs)))))). Your family is in my thoughts. No judging, no opinions. I hope everyone turns out okay from it.

[Lekov]

I've seen a variety of opinions so far, and I appreciate those of you who have passed along their well-wishes. This is my cousin Emma that was being discussed, and I've known he since she was a little girl, and I've always been around her since she moved back to my town. She was always my favorite growing up, and she's someone I've always loved and cared about.

The institution that Ranger badmouthed is not always the answer, but if he was indeed sent for the wrong reasons - of course your experience is going to be bad. Of course not all are created the same, but the general focus is to try and treat an existing problem. If you did not have a problem, and you claimed you didn't, and you fought what they were trying to give you, then I suspect it would have been a very bad experience.

To assume that everyone's problem is the exact same Ranger:


Because obviously if you had issues with mental depression, and drugs then you would understand this..

Not all problems are the same. My wife's battle with depression is likely not the exact same thing Kissy dealt with and is likely not the same thing Emma is dealing with. Similar symptoms do not mean the exact same answers.

I am glad Emma is getting help. Her actions - the fact that she cut deep, but not -too- deep, while calling a friend indicates that she did indeed want some kind of help. Now those around her are attempting to provide it for her, and she knows that we are all there, and she has so far been willing to work with everyone. There's a difference between trying to return someone to a societal fold, and from keeping a bright young girl from doping up or injuiring - possibly killing - herself. I don't expect everyon (or for that matter anyone) to agree with everything I have said. I'm not claiming to have all of the answers.

If I did, I'd have seen this coming, and also know how to treat it. Counseling, the intervention... it's not really just Emma being treated here, in the long run. It's all of us who take an interest in helping her.

[Grumble]

wow!!! I certainly have an insight into Ranger's views now.

Certainly his ire is directed at mental health facilities not the plight of Emma or her caring family.

Lekov, it must be tough for you mate, seeing someone you love and have seen grow up, going through this awful thing.

I have had a lot of battles with depression in my life so I do have avery clear insight into the way the affected person feels.

My heart goes out to all of you and I am keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.

big warm hugs to all of you

Grumble

[IM1469]

Sorry to hear about your family's problem. Being a caregive to someone who tried the same, I know what they are feeling and the road ahead. From that standpoint, tell them to get some support for themselves as the caregives are the ones that face the brunt of the anger by the person who attempts suicide. It is a long process, I know.

Peace,
IM1469