Thank You, I Will Stay

[LarryL]

Words alone can express only a small part of what I feel now. Please know that I am holding back tears. That mushy, funny feeling that comes just before the tears flow...that is where I am at right now.

I will stay.

The response to my Goodbye letter blows my mind. Wow. I am overwhelmed. I am joyfully drowning in such love and affection as I never imagined. What a wonderful death it is. I knew there would be replies from special people I have met and who have touched me, and Oh! how they can touch–open, real, thrilling touches that heal my heart and soul. I did not suspect that so many others would respond. Again, I am overwhelmed. I have printed those and I will treasure those for many years to come. When I get down on myself, I can read your loving words and be thankful that you guys are as beautiful as you are.

The affection, attention, the validation as a human and a man that I hoped I would find here, is here and more abundant than I ever imagined. Whereas I hoped for 25%, I received 125%!

This creates a whole new dilemma. Now I must deal with higher self-esteem and a more healthy self-concept. Do you know how hard that will be? Do you realize how uncomfortable it is having good self-esteem when the opposite has been the norm? I only hope you do. (I joke about this. Being the clown has brought positive attention all my life. People are sometimes surprised to find more to me than that. Old habits man.)

To everyone who responded and if there are any yet to write, though there is no longer a need, thank you, thank you, thank you. I will stay. You have made me change my mind. Also, I did not realize that there are so many old and now drugless hippies here. Not only that, but people of all ages. I should read more profiles I guess. Seeing myself as an old man too soon is most likely a negative consequence of low self-esteem. Another thing to change.

Finally, I will not try to thank specific individuals for fear of offending someone I may not mention. I thank you all. I hug you all. I kiss most of you.

P.S.: Now... If I can just stop falling in love with every beautiful, sensitive, caring, and sexy woman I met here... This is a good place to learn that lesson.

In Deepest Gratitude and Lovin' the Hell Out of Ya All,
Larry

[Lilith]

LOL...The beauty of Pixies is you CAN love us all;)

[huntersgirl]

Well then! Let me be the first to welcome you back! btw...you know all the answers I can just tell!:D (that is not meant smugly) You just seem to have a good head on your shoulders and the ability to sit back and take a good look at things, generally these types of people, in my experience, really know how to make it through just about anything! I"m looking forward to reading many more of your sexy, thoughtful, enlightening posts!:D

[huntersgirl]

Lil beat me to it! Damn this dial up! LOL.

[Teddy Bear]

^^^LOL huntersgirl, has happened to me many times. :)



WELCOME HOME LarryL!!

Glad you're staying. Not to many can write a post as sexy as yours and they would have been missed.



Why not introduce the wife to Pixies? :) :)

[musicman]

Glad you're staying Larry.....

We like drugless ex hippies here! :D LOL

[imaginewithme]

Larry, I can't tell you how happy you've made me. I am so glad you're here and you're staying with us!!!!
:love:

[LixyChick]

Damn! Where ya been M F'er?

LMFAO!

Pardon my potty mouth...but I gotta be me! I'm smiling like a cheshire cat because of your post hun! So glad you are staying! They say you never get a second chance to make a first impression? They're wrong...I'm impressed...again!

Can't wait to find time to get to know you better. Now...sit still for a bit, will ya?!!!!!

[Pita]

(((((Larry))))) I just couldn't be happier too. After all you were one of the first ones I posted with and you set the tone for me for this board. You would have been greatly missed. :heart:

[BigBear57]

Glad Ya decided to hang in here awhile. I enjoy reading your posts. Get on back in here and go to it!

[BlueSwede]

I'm so glad to read that you are staying (SMILE). Like I said before, I certainly would have missed you.

[dicksbro]

Glad to have you stay, LarryL.

I just hope you have a great time here. Dive in and share whenever the spirit so moves you! ;)

[sodaklostsoul]

Welcome back Larry L, you old crazy hippi dude!!!:D

[jennaflower]

wooohooo :) Great News...

I hope you don't mind as I continue to lurk in the darkness and enjoy your posts... so glad you decided to bend to our need to have you here...

Hugs

[Sharni]

Damn i'm pleased to hear this news.....i have thoroughly enjoyed every single one of your posts and was very saddened by your 'leaving thread' (i didnt reply as i truely hoped you would change your mind :) )

Now get to posting hun :D so i got more goodies to read :D

[Grumble]

Good on you Larry :)

Need to keep the old blokes here buddy LOL

I am very glad to hear that you are staying

[jseal]

LarryL,

I'm pleased to learn of your decision, and look forward to reading your posts.

[Sassy Rose]

Great News!!!! I am so very happy you decided to stay Larry. I have had several long absences from Pixies myself but I always end up back here :) I look forward to getting to know you better and know that if you ever make it to my side of the mountains I hope that we might be able to meet. *LOL* I can be your tour guide in the desert of Washington. Haha, I know alot of people are reading this and thinking "she's nuts, Washington has no desert" but you know exactly what I'm talking about ;)

Welcome back *Great BIG Hugs*

[flutelady]

Hey Larry... I've not had a chance to respond sooner, but I'm very glad you're staying. I think your posts are very original and interesting.... Thank you for not leaving us!

[Loulabelle]

I began a reply to your Goodbye thread, but it got so long it made me late for work before I even finished it (I was busy trying to persuade you to stay, of course) so I had to abandon it before I could post it.

So glad you're staying, I'm looking forward to getting to know you.

Lou
x

[Oldfart]

Good to hear.

[Ryan²]

Originally posted by Lilith
LOL...The beauty of Pixies is you CAN love us all;) With all these hot babes here it's difficult not to love someone. ;)

[LarryL]

Originally posted by Ryan²
With all these hot babes here it's difficult not to love someone. ;)
Originally posted by Lilith
LOL...The beauty of Pixies is you CAN love us all

The problem, the real and maddening problem is in the nature of the love. I do fall in love, deeply, adolescently, completely in love as easy as rain falls to earth.

I can't seem to do what you all appear to do so well, that is, laugh and joke and play--even outlandish sexual play--with ease. All of this adult play does not seem to negatively affect the relationship of those who are in one. I assume that none of you get so attacted to someone else that he or she takes over your mind. I mean I can't stop thinking about... You guys appear able to play here from time to time and not allow it to disrupt your life.

Maybe that's not true. I could probably use some perspective here, please. I guess I'm asking for feedback again. I can be so needy and insecure. I hate that in myself.

How do you guys do it? How can you flirt here with each other and not fall for someone and then get all crazy because you know you and that person will never be together? Once that happens, how can you/I/we stay on the flirt/play level with such an ache inside for someone?

Sorry now you wanted me to stay, right. *weak laughter* These are unfair questions and I really don't anticipate much of a response. Also, I am probably falling too far away from the fun that this board is for. "Nice to meet you, I'm Mr. Serious Shit."

BTW: I still have a hard time not seeing you, not toughing you, not looking in your eyes, and seeing expressions, and noticing tone of voice. Just words on a screen...Yuck Fuck. I hate it. That's why I ramble. As long as I'm writing, I am with you, at least I pretend I am.

My new signature: SHUT UP LARRY.

[Lilith]

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH the supreme question.
<~~~~~~~~ is seriously one crazed bitch. I know exactly how you feel Larry. I have decided I am polyamourous (not sure I can spell it) but am living a commited life with Mr. Lil.

I fall in lust, in love, with people's insides and their outsides. I've stopped fighting it. I've decided I love who I love. That's out of my control. What I can control is what I do with, or how I act, or don't act, upon those feelings.

[WildIrish]

It ain't easy Larry. It ain't easy at all.

Some connections are much easier to say "it's wild and crazy flirting", while others are only nondetrimental because of the distance.

Like Lilith said, it's not the presence of said feelings...it's whether or not you choose to act upon them and how. And that's something no one else can answer for you. Sorry I'm of absolutely no help...but I'm glad you are still around.

[Grumble]

mmmmmmmmmmmm good question

I am a hopeless romantic like you Larry and if I wander into getting into the sexual side, like cybering and so forth, I get in too deep.

So many sexy women here so I stay on a friendship basis and have some very close relationships with my friends here. Plenty of love and caring but on a non sexual basis.

My friendship with CA for example, we love each other dearly. We had some long hugs when I visited but apart from having her lovely breasts pressed against my chest, there was nothing of a sexual nature. It is a very fulfilling and rewarding relationship for us both but is uncomplicated like being "in love".

I do not venture where angels fear to tread LOL

[BigBear57]

Larry if you can experience this fine group of people and NOT fall in love once in awhile, something is amiss. I have to continually remind myself flirtation returned doesn't mean fate smiled on me. I honestly cherish any ties I've made here and fanatsies abound on "what if's" but if allowed to run rampant these uplifting tidbits of emotion would make an old fart like me chase impossible dreams till I drop. I just enjoy this site for what it is and that's a super place where I have access to the best of the best and I feel honored to have the opportunity to do so. I mean where else would I get the opportunity to say Good Morning to such luscious creatures and not have an eye roll as a result?

[Pita]

(((Larry))) the feelings that you are having aren't yours alone. You see already by the few short post that others have had these feelings.

I can't tell you how to not lose your heart and fall in love with people. I am like Lilith in that I love who I love and I keep in check by chosing how I deal with it.

The main way handle it all is to never lose focus of my family and the knowledge that I would never mess up my home life for my own desires.

I have also learned to only have relationships with like minded people.

You have to do what is right for you. If you can't separate the fun with the real then perhaps you do need to think about why you are here. And that my friend is a choice you have to make for yourself.

[scotzoidman]

Your questions are not unfair at all, Larry...we all want you (& everybody here) to be happy, & if we can help you find that in yourself, well...
I personally have fallen madly in love (& lust) with several ladies here, & the long-distance feelings can cut so deep...but it hurts so good :slurp:
In your "goodbye" message you said you needed to work on your marriage...if you're truly having problems in your real life, the fantasy play that goes on here may seem so tempting...if you're starving at home, peering thru the window of the candy store can be unbearable...of course, I really don't know you that well, but from what I've seen you seem to be a nice guy, & you've certainly won over many of the ladies here ;)
& there's always the possibility that I'm completely full of horseshit, but that's my brief take on your situation...

[GingerV]

Woo hoo. I noticed you replying to another thread...and went hunting figured this good news must be out there somewhere.

What I didn't expect to find was a real conversation in the midst of a celebration.

I think all people are different, and learn to manage their own hearts as best they can. I learned a long time ago that crushes happen whether I want them to or not...and that love and respect can be part of a crush. But a crush isn't a proper relationship, any more than a roller coaster is a useful means of transportation. It's fun. It's a rush. It's good for my heart. But my mind knows the difference, so I'm never really scared because it knows I'm safe, and that my primary relationship (not sure what else to call it...as we're not married) is safe.

I'm happy with that compromise, which is a good thing...cause I've NEVER been able to keep myself from getting crushes. You have to find the compromise that's right for you.

Which is my 2cents. But mostly, I just wanted to add my grin to the pile. I love it when my silly optimisms are justified. Even though I have no right to expect it.

[LarryL]

Originally posted by GingerV
Which is my 2cents. But mostly, I just wanted to add my grin to the pile. I love it when my silly optimisms are justified. Even though I have no right to expect it.

Thank you,

Very helpful, bery insightful. You and others are saying what I doubt I can do, that is, flirt and enjoy it yet maintain my own relationship, period, case closed. Easy when your primary relationship is good. My primaray relationship is in the hospital but the prognosis is good.
Also, I am way too addictive, impulsive, and down right stupid to control myself very much if at all. When I fall in love with the outstanding, beautiful, sexy girls here I mean I really fall in love and begin plans for where we shall live and how many children to have. (I can't say enough about the ladies here--I LOVE YOU GIRLS.) I'm a sap.
Anyway, you optimisms are not silly and I definitely justify them. Thanks again.

My new signiture: SHUT UP LARRY!

With Childlike Love and Thrills,
Larry

[Lilith]

Originally posted by LarryL
Thank you,

When I fall in love with the outstanding, beautiful, sexy girls here I mean I really fall in love and begin plans for where we shall live and how many children to have.

With Childlike Love and Thrills,
Larry


As long as you are having them, I'll have 3;)

[LarryL]

Lilith, you are outrageous. You are stupendous. You are such a tease. You rev me up. You are the fruit I must not eat but can't help but lick.

I love you now. Too late. I tried to warn you. So where shall we live my darling, you and I in bliss and naked joy.

[Lilith]

Ummmmm....I don't do naked 24/7 but I like the bliss thing. I'd like to live somewhere that it does not rain everyday all summer preferably. I'm waterlogged and no one is ever home with me to take advantage of those sexy thundercloud clapping, napping, hours.

Do you think our spouses will take care of our kids while we play? :p

[imaginewithme]

I wanna play too!!!! :hot:

[LarryL]

I remember a long-gone past post in the Washington Anyone? thread where I, Lilith and you (imaginewithme) were together in my stupid mind, as usual, fantasy triumphs over reality. :(

There isn't a pattern here is there? I don't have to marry you both do I? OK. I think the three of us could make a go of it.

SHUT UP LARRY!