Might Be Pregnant

[looloo]

Hi evey one it's looloo again,
I yet have another dillema I think I might be pregnant. I have been in this situation before with my current partner, he say's that he wants kids with me and that it wouldln't be such a bacd thing, but last time when I took the test I was negative, and seeing I was at a mates place she said to kid around with him and to say that I was, of course I told him straight away I was kidding. But he said " Oh great " really dissapointingly, so that make me question if he really does wanna have kids or not, and if I am really pregnant should I tell me.

Some help please.


If u need more info let me know, as in my last post to some people I wasn't really clear

[lonelyarmywife]

I felt similarly when i found out I was pregnant with my son. My husband had made it very clear in the past that he wasn't interested in having kids, and when I found out i was pregnant I was terrified to tell him. Turns out he actually responded much better than i thought he would, and actually hasn't turned into a half-bad father...for the time the army has let him be around.

If you are, then there's nothing you can do about it now, start relaxing and enjoy it. Do not stress out, that just makes it worse. Just go with the flow and enjoy all the extra attention you'll be getting.

If you aren't, then you and your boy need to have a very serious conversation about what exactly you want, and when you want it. Be totally honest, and make him to the same.

Best Wishes,
LAW

[Lilith]

If it's the same guy as in this post ~~~~> http://216.150.92.84/forums/showthread.php?t=26508&page=1&pp=15

I'd suggest you walk away, he doesn't sound like someone who would make a very kind and caring father.

[LixyChick]

Um...just reread the previous post that Lil put the link up for and I stand by my feelings.

If you have so many questions about this guy...if you have so many negatives about the relationship...if the guy keeps putting up obstacles for you to navigate around...if, if, if...

looloo...Why would you put yourself in a position where you might get pregnant by a man you are not sure of? What happened to birth control? And beings that it isn't the first time that this might have happened with the same guy...why don't you respect yourself enough to take charge of your own body and therefore your future?

You don't have to answer these questions out loud...but do answer them for yourself!

My advice? If you are pregnant and you plan to carry to term...Yes, the father has a right to know. That it'll do you any good to make him aware...*shrugs* I doubt it if it's the same guy from the other thread.

I don't believe that he doesn't talk to his ex's anymore (your follow post up in the other thread). I believe that that's what he's told you and I can't believe that you believe it!

Whatever the outcome hon...I wish you the best! And if you aren't pregnant? WHEW! Take that as a cue to adjust your life so that these "scares" don't happen again!

[Loulabelle]

Lixy's absolutely right.

Sounds like, whether this man is being honest with you or not, your relationship is not stable enough to invite another person to join, let alone someone as vulnerable and needy as a child.

Don't think that having a baby will make this relationship stronger. It won't. It never does. Babies put immense strain on even the strongest couples, so a relationship where there are already doubts about fidelity, committment, mutual goals (like having a child, for example) etc is going to be even more pressured.

If you are pregnant, I'm afraid that your first responsibility is no longer to your man, or even to yourself, but to your child, and there's plenty more damage done to a child from them having 'the wrong' kind of father in their lives than having no father in their lives.

[sodaklostsoul]

So....are you pregnant? If I may ask.
If you are...I'm sorry he's a jerk.....and if you are not.....then dump him, you deserve better.

Don't know his side of the story, but from what you've said he's not trying very hard to make your relationship work.

[imaginewithme]

Your test is "negative"??? Then I would say you're not pregnant...unless I read something wrong. If you don't want to have children with this guy or a relationship, don't even joke with him about it. That's just my thoughts on it. Getting & being pregnant and having children is a HUGE thing....not something to just do for the heck of it.
Wishing you only the best!

[LixyChick]

LOOLOO?????

How you doing hun?

OK...I agree...some pretty harsh words up there ^^^...but you asked...and we care when someone is seeking advice...and if you don't want to hear diverse opinions, just don't put it out there! There are plenty of things we can all talk about without getting too personal.

But since you asked looloo...could you please get back to us ASAP and let us know how you are and what you think of all the offerings here?

Believe it or not...when we answer something in this "Advice Forum"...we do it with the best of intentions and try to give the member as good advice as we would someone in our RL! It takes some thinking and I even try to put myself in the shoes of the person asking...and I NEVER try to steer them wrong. If I can't answer a query I just let it be and someone who knows better will chime in. If I've had similar experiences I try to divert the asker from the pain that might come if they continue the path they are going. That's what I tried to do here...and I'm hoping you aren't hurt by my advice! I hope you are considering it to be what it is...a concerned opinion!

You OK?

[looloo]

LOOLOO?????

How you doing hun?

OK...I agree...some pretty harsh words up there ^^^...but you asked...and we care when someone is seeking advice...and if you don't want to hear diverse opinions, just don't put it out there! There are plenty of things we can all talk about without getting too personal.

But since you asked looloo...could you please get back to us ASAP and let us know how you are and what you think of all the offerings here?

Believe it or not...when we answer something in this "Advice Forum"...we do it with the best of intentions and try to give the member as good advice as we would someone in our RL! It takes some thinking and I even try to put myself in the shoes of the person asking...and I NEVER try to steer them wrong. If I can't answer a query I just let it be and someone who knows better will chime in. If I've had similar experiences I try to divert the asker from the pain that might come if they continue the path they are going. That's what I tried to do here...and I'm hoping you aren't hurt by my advice! I hope you are considering it to be what it is...a concerned opinion!

You OK?


Hey everyone LooLoo is back,
well I am just giving u guys a update on what's been happening well i got the blood test back and i am pregnant. WoW!
But to ensure every I am not going to keep it I am going to have the abortion next Thursday.
As for Mark and I well, things are improving I know for a fact he has stopped talking to his ex as she is no where on his pc and he has even sent her a goodbye email which I have read.

Well that is it on this end, just wanted to saying thankyou to everyone and for your support and advice!!!

[LixyChick]

Best of luck looloo!

Now, take care of yourself better this time! Once, or even twice can be an accident. But you know what you have to contend with now and what you have to do to insure that this "mistake" doesn't happen again. Respect yourself looloo. Treat yourself in the highest esteem and those who know you will follow suit!

[sodaklostsoul]

Best of Luck!!

[lonelyarmywife]

OK, I want to say a few things, and i will try to be as gentle as possible.

1. you have stated that this guy has a few issues you don't trust him with. Take TIME to rebuild that trust! Don't just automatically jump back in believing everything he says to you just beucase he says it. Make him prove hiself.

2. You have made a decision to abort rather quickly it seems. I may be wrong, there could be a whole thought process you aren't sharing with us. If there is, that's cool. Please think this through very very carefully. Abortion is a permanant thing - you can't undo it once it's done. Adoption is a less pernamant option.

3. Kudos to you for realizing you are not ready to raise a child instead of trying to do it and fucking it up. That may sound harsh, but as a school teacher I see kids every day that have parents taht had them before they were ready, and as a result, they fucked up their kids. I'm glad you realize you aren't ready for this.

4. HOWEVER...
this may get a little sensitive. Let me first say this - I am pro-life. But, i've also never been in a situation where i needed or wanted an abortion, so i really can't understand what you are feeling.
As I said before, i'm glad that you realize you are not mature enough to raiase a child right now. But please don't use abortion as your method of birth control. You've fucked up, you want an abortion. I don't understand it, but the courts say taht's your right to exercise taht option. What I would hate to see is you learning nothing from this, taking no precautions the next time you have sex. Please, please please PLEASE protect yourself and avoid this situation in the future... PLEASE PLEASE PELASE PLEASE PLEASE.

5. Take some time to reevaluate your relationship - I"m still not convinced this dude isn't a snake.

I hope you take my words to heart. This is the sincerest advice that i can offer to you.

LAW

[Loulabelle]

LAW is so right looloo.

Have you told your man you're pregnant? I hate to say it, but the child is as much his as it is yours and if you want to destin your relationship to fail, then aborting his unborn child without telling him is bound to do it.

If you want the relationship to work, BOTH of you have to be totally honest. If you've decided it's over between you, then walk away and do what you've got to do for the baby's sake to make it right.

[LixyChick]

For wyndhy and Loulabelle...

I want you to know that I tread on this thread like it was rice paper! What you both said is so sincere and so caring and I hope looloo takes it under consideration!

I am pro-choice...and I'll never deviate from it! But I HEAR wyndhy when she says that looloo has an adoption option at her door. Makes me think wyndhy might be pro-choice too...even though she thinks she is pro-life! PM me on that wyndhy...if you don't know my life's story that I've shared at Pixes.

Adoption is a choice...as is abortion...ergo Pro-Choice! You say...carry your baby to birth. Then what? Will YOU take my baby if I can't raise it? Direct me to the Pro-Choice members who have adopted all the babies that you made me have! Yes...there are MANY a woman who has had multiple births and can't take care of their children...and then what? What has the Pro-Lifer's done to help these individuals that they've convinced to have all these children that they can't raise? And if I can go so far...they've convinced them out of guilt from religion. OK...pray on their religious values to MAKE them have a baby...it's a baby "out of wedlock"...and we won't recognize you at church...but you MUST have it! It's such an oxymoron...it's such a stigma...you know people talk...and shun...why make them suffer more for YOUR personal values?

I'm starved for reasoning of this issue...and I know it's as bad an issue as "religion" itself...and I can't say as I'll ever be swayed in my beliefs.

A WOMAN HAS A RIGHT TO DICTATE WHAT HAPPENS TO HER OWN BODY...PERSONIFIED!

OK...I'm done for now!