My Girlfriend orgasms with her ex lover

[idriveabucket]

My girlfriend has had one previous long term relationship with another man. This man was very emotionally abusive to her over their 4 year relationship, but somehow made her orgasm often during sex. (i know this because i was friends of both her and him during their relationship)

anyway, i'm now with this woman, and we have sex often, sometimes 3-4 times a day. when we first started having sex she would orgasm everytime, (for maybe the first week or two, then it became sporatic, she would orgasm maybe 2-3 times a week, now after 3 months in the relationship she rarely orgasms, maybe once a week (at best).

She pretty much has given up on having an orgasm now. I hadn't seen her in a week, because i was out of town on business, i come home everything is hot and heavy, we have sex and again she doesn't orgasm.

Is there something im doing wrong?? why did she orgasm so often in the beginning and not anymore? i remember being worse in the beginning of our relationship (performance - wise)

im confused

[kitana]

Well it's hard to say why she did so much before and now she is comming down so to speak.

But way's to her her could be taking your time with her, making everything about her, make sure that she is 100% ready and then worry about you, wether it may be giving her oral, fingering her and not only the hole, I mean every part of her!

See how you go with that! :)

[idriveabucket]

but the confusing thing is, the guy she was with last treated her like crap, admittedly only called her when he was drunk and horny, used her for sex and left, and was much worse looking than i am. he gave her no consideration sexually, but yet still made her orgasm almost everytime they had sex.

i just dont understand.

[Lilith]

it's all in the technique...

[Ranger1930]

Or maybe,... just maybe.. inside her dark little fantasties.. The foul treatment. Bad name calling. And abuse is what made her get off. I know several women that are like this.. And actually enjoy being abused and used.

My suggestion.. try dirty talk to her. Hair pulling.. maybe some biting. and most definately spanking.
You don't have to be abusive. to let her know her place in the bedroom. Some men just don't understand this.

[Oldfart]

The other point is that she said she was orgasming, but may have only been saying it to make he ex (and you) feel good.

Find out through exploration and play what bounces her off the ceiling and incorporate them into your lovemaking.

Don't go formula, keep looking for new ways for both of you to get off.

One such, just as an example, give her two plastic tumblers of water to hold and to try not to spill. Coat a vibrator in baby oil and move it over the soles of her feet. Half the buzz comes from her not moving a muscle, otherwise she "loses". You can agree on a penalty.

In that heightened state, other things she finds only so-so can become mind-blowing.

This is only one example, use your ingenuity to find thousands.

[Jude30]

How are you 100% sure that she wasn't faking with you at first and with him the whole time?

The only way to know is to talk to her.

[idriveabucket]

thanks for the advice guys.

[Yamada]

My sister was like that when she first started fucking her guy. She would come all the time when they first started having sex, then her orgasms gradually tapered off where she didn't come very often. She said it was all this built up tension she had from not being fucked for a long time before they started having sex (even though she masturbated all the time) and when she got fucked often for quite a while, that tension got released and she calmed down. If her guy gets frustrated that she doesn't come, he'll just lick her clit until she has a really good orgasm-it always works. Me, I always come, regardless of how much sex I've recently had.