How Do I Get Over It?

[AngelicVampires]

Ok...I have some serious issues. For now, I'll just ask about one of my weirder ones, lol. I cannot stand the sight of porn. I continually compare myself to the women in porn and depress myself and get angry. I know this is a major self-esteem issue but I don't seem to be able to get over not becoming jealous and seeing porn as my competitor. Any ideas how I can stop myself from going nuts?

[wyndhy]

well, you already realize it's a self esteem issue, so i'd work on that. maybe you just shouldn't watch porn. when you are comfortable inside your own skin, then you can watch again and enjoy it how it's meant to be enjoyed.

try to remember that it's not a competition, the women chosen by producers are chosen for a reason and airbrushed into oblivion. there is porn out there that stars women who are more like women (as opposed to barbie dolls) but i'm not sure if that would help. maybe you'd just reverse the ridicule onto them instead of yourself. ssdd

i think you just need to work on being ok with what and who you are or work to change that before you'll feel ok with women who personify whatever ideal it is you think you should personify.

do you feel the same way - jealous and inadequate - when you look at ELLE magazine, say, or another woman, perhaps a friend even, who you think looks or acts better then you?

[Lilith]

Yes. When you see Aneglina Jolie in Tomb Raider do you think... damn I don't shoot and kick ass anything like that..I must be an inferior ass kicker.

She is a professional actress playing the role of a professional ass kicker. Porn stars are professional actresses playing the role of professional fuckers. Neither is an accurate portrayal. Both are the imaginations and fantasies of someone else being brought to life on a screen. Angelina is not trying to inspire you to be a better ass kicker and the porn stars are not trying to inspire you to be a better fucker.

You are at an age where you are naturally basing your self worth on the exterior things you think other's value. The other's you are dealing with may value looks at your age but as both you and your others mature and move into the world outside of college, you will quickly discover that only during a very small portion of a person's life are looks the #1 value. After that others are looking for someone they can share a life not a mirror with.

You are being too hard on yourself and expecting too much, basing your worth on the value someone else may or may not assign to it. What in you do you value?

[Lilith]

Fuck...in one post I just officially became my mother.

[wyndhy]

^^^that's better than beeing my mother. :eek:

[Lilith]

Apparently I feel the need to be everyone's mother :D

[loves2laugh]

That's Lillith one heckuva muther.

I agree with the ladies, just be yourself. Love who you are, and become the best you, you can be. A woman confident in who she is, is incredibly sexy

[osuche]

My solution...don't watch porn. Read stories -- then the women can look like whatever you want to look like.

Oh -- and Lilith.....I *like* your mother. She must be smart if she raised you.

[scotzoidman]

<in Isaac Hayes voice>

I hear that Lilith is a baaad mother...

[Vigil]

Why porn stars - they aren't the measure of anything to this man. It has never even crossed my mind to compare anyone with a porn star or any other type of celebrity for that matter.

I haven't got the time right now but later I'll read your stories and I bet they give me a raging hard on - now that is something to measure yourself against!

[Oldfart]

AngelicVampires,

Why do you want to compare yourself to the kibuki of modern porn, which is usually a grotesque parody of sexuality.

Classic porn, such as Debby does Dallas, has girls who truly are like the girl next door, tall short skinny and plump.

Learn who you are, then the rest can all get knotted.

[Casperr]

Don't blame the porn, blame your self esteem!

Learn to love yourself for who you are, to accept that your body is beautiful BECAUSE it is YOUR body.

Then prove it by sending me lots of nekkid pics......

Oh yeah, and listen to your mothers :)
CasperTG

[scotzoidman]

Watching porn requires everybody to shore up their self-esteem first...if men compared their own penises to the genenic mutants that are the mainstay of porn, they would give up porn and sex forever...

[Mark Vieth]

Ok...I have some serious issues. For now, I'll just ask about one of my weirder ones, lol. I cannot stand the sight of porn. I continually compare myself to the women in porn and depress myself and get angry. I know this is a major self-esteem issue but I don't seem to be able to get over not becoming jealous and seeing porn as my competitor. Any ideas how I can stop myself from going nuts?

Hi AV, first off just let me say how very sorry I am to hear that you feel this way. Second, it is only porn, perhaps you should look at porn from a different perspective. Now we all know that porn is fun and often get's us in the mood very fast. But it can also be used as a self-education device. If you and your partner view porn from an education stand point you will find that you can learn quite a few things from it. That also depends on the type of porn that is viewed and whether it is just sex or if it is for couples. A company called "Private" (which I am sure we all know has made Silvia Saint an international star) has a range catered for couples. They have a website that you can check out if you wish. www.private.com

Now I know what will probably happen, everyone else here will probably check the site out. lol

Jokes asside AV try looking at porn from a different point of view and you will probably get more out of it.

[Oldfart]

Sitting here, re-reading the thread, I was struck by a thought. It looked like one I loaned Scotz a couple of years ago. We'll talk later, feller.

There are any number of older, soft-core pics where the actors aren't carrying silicone by the gallon and most of the sex is by suggestion.

Find your comfort level, then tiptoe around your boundaries.

At worst you'll catch up on your movies.

[scotzoidman]

I guess I'll have to rummage around the basement to see if I will be able to return OF's thoughts I borrowed...sorry about that...

[Aqua]

Apparently I feel the need to be everyone's mother :D
I didn't think I'd ever want to be a motherfucker, but now... ;)

[WildIrish]

One of the reasons I like amateur porn so much more than mainstream porn is that they show real people in real situations. It's very sexy because I can compare, and I can relate.

Plus, I like the idea that I may stumble across someone I know. lmfao

So I guess what I'm trying to say is "make your own movies and post them". :D