I don't like walking in parks.

I'm thinking of getting my teeth filed so I can be a vampire.

I'm taking a course on lying to the public so I can be a politician.

Politicians never lie.

No wonder we doubt our politicians. They must not have taken the course I'm taking. :)

I'm growing a beard so I can join the circus

I quit my high-wire act in the circus cuz' I got tired of my beard.

I think sex is only for procreation.

I'm so shy, I try not to take off my clothes for sex.

The World Wide Web will come to nothing.

It's fun to receive a lot of SPAM in your mailbox.

I eat spam.

We never have used Spam when making ham salad.

I didn't notice that SPAM is MAPS spelled backwards.

I can turn into a mermaid at will.

I'm not still tired this morning.

I loathe dark chocolate

I'm going to stay in bed all day.

I'm a rockstar :hippy:

I won the lottery on Saturday

I never tell fibs in this thread.

I got plenty of sleep last night.

We're not going to Indianapolis this weekend to meet our new granddaughter.

I can't wait for my Joe to go out of town next week.

I'm sure glad that I don't have anything to pack for our trip.

I have eyes in the back of my head.

The car we took to Indianapolis got 86 miles to the gallon. (It would have been more, but we did a lot of city driving. :boink: )

I'm so sorry my daughter had to go to school today.

We sent our kids to Nome, Alaska for their schooling. The bus ride took six days each way. :boink:

My daughter's teacher resembles a penguin.

Sounds fishy to me which makes it all the more believable.

We did not attend a very wet Renfest yesterday.

We didn't go to a great German restaurant last night for supper.

I'm a professional belly dancer

I was Peter North's stud double in many of his movies.

We'd all be better off without pets.

Our pets are well-behaved and sit quietly at the table waiting for supper to be served. :boink:

My pets learn to open cans and prepare their own meals.

Our cats are reading "War and Peace" to my wife and I.

My daughter does not have a friend visiting until Saturday.