Pixies people are not worth knowing.

I use piles of pet poop to keep people from walking in our yard.

I'm sending a container load of mouse poop over to dicksbro first thing in the morning.

I just found Santa drunk behind my car screaming "NEVER AGAIN"

I really wish I could be 18 again.

I'm having an affair with my dentist.

I'm a Dentist

I'm going to quickly learn to be. :slurp:

I'm giving up masturbation

I hate webcams

I love dripping faucets.

Got to take my pet Emu for a walk

I did not masturbate today after putting clean sheets on the bed.

I'm going to start a frog traininrg school.

I did not masturbate thinking about Tess masturbating

I didn't think of Tess moaning.... I didn't....... I didn't!

I believe masturbation sends you blind and makes your palms hairy.

I can't feel my braille keyboard anymore through all this hair.

I've hired a secretary to do my typing.

I'm not having thoughts of sexy secretaries now

I find Pixies to be the most prudish bunch of people ever to cyber the net.

2:30 AM and the sun is shining brightly.

Oh good, it's raining

I wish my kid wasn't going away for the weekend leaving just me and my sweetie home alone....to do whatever we want!! :sex:

I bet you're dreading that time.

I'd hate to be in that situation!

Free to do whatever you'd like ... what a dreadful thought.

I was overjoyed when her plans fell through and she came back home. I didn't want crazy, wild sex anyway!!!!! :mad:

I didn't fall asleep in our living room sitting on the recliner last night.

I'm only working 1 hour a day

TinglingTess' weekend plans bore me.

My Lamborghini got dirty with all the snow and salt on the roads, so I'm trading it in for a new one.

(A 2010 Lamborghini Murcielago costs about $450,000)

tying the wife up and leaving her squirming with a vibe inside was soooo boring last night

I'm not sleepy at all right now.

I'm not considering masturbating right NOW

I'm going on the new coffee, donut and apple pie diet.

Of late, life has been idyllic.

Work was sooooooooo slow today I almost fell asleep.

I think I'm going to spend the whole day in bed.

I spend every day in bed.....and naked!