I just hope the ice melts off the driveway and streets before I have to go out.

I never drink wine.

I have 6 girlfriends who all co-habitate with me.

I just traded in my old Chrysler for a new Ferrari.

I'm one of Lafehubert's girlfriends.

My dick is so long I can have sex with girls across the room from me.
:sex:
:shock:

I moved out of my house and into a tepee.

You know how you puncture a tire and it goes flat ... well, I designed a square tire that, when you puncture it, it goes round. :)

I, like Merlin, travel backwards through time.

A new law says that the year will only have three seasons now ... Spring, Summer and Fall.

I cooked up the cat tonight and fed him to the mouse.

I take showers with my clothes on because the washers broke.

Today is "Everyone's a Nudist" in our town and we all have to walk around nude all day.

I hate Vegemite.

I wanna get my sac pierced so many times I have trouble getting through metal detectors.

:shock:

I'm working 60-80 hours a week at a fast food restaurant.

My other vehicle is the Millenium Falcon.

For lunch, I usually have a light lunch such as an inch thick prime rib, twice-baked potatoes with butter, onions and chives, and fresh green veggies ... along with a Banana's Foster for dessert. I keep it light so I won't spoil my supper. :)

I despise cooking.

We don't enjoy being out in nature on nice days.

My phone number starts with 911...

I leave my fly open whenever I go out.

My middle name is Rosemary

I hate all these Smut Games. :(





:D

You guys are stupid idiots. :withstupi



:tongue:

My sex life is non-existent.

I've had sex with ALL the pixie ladies.

I've always told the truth in this forum. :boink:

My keyboard has just starting typing by itself.

I didn't do it!

Yes, you did, and I can prove it.

I know, I was watching.

I have telekenetic powers.

I'm levitating as I write this.

I'm getting ready to take a ride up to the International Space Station.

I would have taken you, db, but my spaceship is in the shop.

Thanks, lafehubert. I just went ahead and teleported up. :boink:

My nuts are so small, you could step on them and they would slip into the tread of your shoes and not get hurt.

I always like the low-hanging urinals in restrooms so I don't have to lift it so far. :D

I love weekend chores.