"Your honor, in view of the defendant's sterling character and overall lusciousness, I recommend that she be put under house-arrest... my house." -Bravo

Bravo: "Aww, Karl, Momma doesn't love me anymore."

Karl: "Nope, she hates ya. So whattaya wanna do now?"

"I, The Bearded Man, am the most hideously malformed freak of them all. Look at my beard. Tremble!!" -The Bearded Man

"Whoop, there it goes... yep, my brain stopped." -Ed

Sara: "Ed, what's your sock doin' on my floor?!"

Ed: "Sleeping?"

"Oh, I get it. Yer with the bald people! What'd they offer you-- gum, nylons, tiny radios?" -Bravo

"Oh, sure, run away. Yer just a buncha baldy bald guys wallowing in yer own balditude." -Bravo

"I know what yer thinkin'. 'He'll forget all about the jiujitsu chop as soon as his short attention span kicks in and'-- hey, toy cars!" -Bravo

Karl: "Behold the joy and wonder that is the one-piece jigsaw puzzle!"

Bravo: "Too hard. Nobody can figure that out."

"Ranger Johnny, bring me the map. You claim this is the Ed-boy's house, but Rolf sees go-go Nazz-girl at the door. No badge for you!" -Rolf

Ed: "It's a harmonica!"

Rolf: "Not even close, square-peg-in-round-hole Ed boy."

Bart: "Mom, it's hard for us to leave with you standing there."

Homer: "Push her down, son."

"Son, when you're involved in a sporting event, it's not whether you win or lose, but how drunk you get." -Homer

"Are you mad, woman?! You never know when an old calendar will come in handy. Sure, it's not 1985 now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring?" -Homer

"It's not my fault! The neighbor's dog told me to steal cable!" -Bravo