My thoughts exactly!

I've often stated that sex is a good barometer for a relationship. If issues arise in a relationship, one partner or the other doesn't feel that enthusiastic about climbing into bed and having tender emotional or rip-roaring break the bed sex. Work is needed outside of the bedroom and the only way to do that is through honest and good communication. Odds are, you already know what the reason is as to why they don't want sex, but if you don't...ask. You're half of the couple and if sex is important to you, then you are at least due a conversation about why it's not important to them.

Is this a recent development or has it been this way from the start?

Aye, there's the rub, or not
 

It is not loveless, it is sexless. And there has been no cheating, nor do I expect there to be in the future. And the issues are almost purely psychological

And the issues started about 2 months into the relationship, before that, it was 3 times a day.... then his ex's stepfather called to say that she was 5 months pregnant

With his baby? Besides all the financial and custodial issues, that could've brought back a flood of memories of good times & bad that he is having a tough time dealing with.

Not his baby? Maybe he's thinking about what went wrong with the marriage and realizing that he was more comfortable being divorced because she was alone.

I may be waaaaaaaaay off track here, but I'm not working with much info. Not that all the facts would help me. I'm a goofball, don't forget. lmfao

About 2 months into the relationship is not long at all.....I'd be thinking, any issues with an ex that causes such a negative effect on the current relationship, must be issues that should have been dealt with before the new relationship started. I'd be heading for the door saying, call me when you've sorted your head out.

As I suspected as I read this thread, and as Lil pointed out, the lack of sex is the least of your worries in this situation. You need to examine why on earth the activities of his ex are continuing to have such a strong effect on him.

I can relate to this problem myself. However, going from what im reading, it is the opposite for me and mine. I am the sexless partner. (due to a medical problem)

The wife claims that toy and fingers are enough and seems to be serious. I know there will be no cheating due to her religious scruples. (Morman)

I love her to death and am trying different ideas for a solution, however to no avail so far.

Its not fun nor is it easy to post this. But I can definately relate and would be willing to discuse this Tigerlily if you feel like chatting.

To clarify... this child will be 6 in May....it has been almost six years since the bomb dropped and the sex never recovered. He makes comments like he wants to have sex sometimes, but will back off if I take him up on it. He's got his hands up my shirt a great deal of the time, but it had gotten to the point where it just annoys me... it's like that joke about mad cow disease...you'd be mad too if someone played with your tits everyday but only fucked you once a year.

I've done the sexless and loveless marriage thing. It lasted for 29 years until enough was enough and the circumstances were such that it was definitely time for me to leave. Yes, I did cheat on him and I don't feel guilty about it because by the time I stepped out, we were beyond done.

The reasons for how I timed things are, of course, unique to my situation and far from simple.

bump! :(

Was that a bump or a thud?

:( :mad: :ranting:

Well, it's been almost a year and a half... and I finally did.

And? How do you feel?

I feel good. It was a guy I hooked up with a couple times before I met my husband. The sex was great and his attitude was fantastic. I actually felt like a sexual person for the first time in years. And it really clarified to me that my marriage has been over for more than a year, I just wasn't really admitting it.