Unfortunatley, when the huge parachute blotted out the sun the villagers thought it was the apocalypse their shamans had foretold for centuries, and they began to riot, brandishing everything from pitchforks to Ginsu knives, thus no tin can or tomato was safe.

The pigs, goats, and pygmy chickens *were* safe, however, and a boy of about 12 jumped off the helicopter, ducked behind a trotting horse, and hid behind the nearest hut, as the next village was deep in the jungle.

unfortunately, with the rioting and looting, thier was noway to get the animals back to the next village

Fortunately, at that instant, a motor boat pulled up to the dock on the Amazon-type river that ran through the village.

Unfortunalty, when the pull rope on the outboard motor snapped and the motor would not start up again.

Fortunately, the boat was drifting in the right direction, and our travelers slowly floated towards the Amish bar downstream.

fortunately, the intestines from one of the goats were found to be strong enough to make a new pull rope

oops

unfortunately the bar was closed and the villagers were in a coma like state

fortunately all the people in a coma had smiles on their faces and didn't notice our travelers.

Fortunately, the two oral crazed ladies from the bar knew a special oral technique for bringing villagers out of comas that they had learned from sherpas while on Spring Break. Apparently the thought the HIMaLAYa's were a happenin' place for meeting guys.

Unfortunately, the oral-crazed ladies thought they needed mountain-climbing gear in order to perform the techniques.

Fortunately, someone started yelling 'REEEEECOOOOOLAAAA' and the ladies thought they were already in the mountains and they began performing oral on all residents of the village.

unfortuneately, one of them choked on a cough drop:p

Fortunately, a 78-year old grandmother stepped up behind the choking lady, wrapped her pudgy arms around the woman, and squeezed.

Unfortunately she squeezed so hard, her liver popped out.

All right--I'm laughing so hard I can hardly respond to this! :D

Fortunately, the doctor had been glueing those livers together pretty quickly, so he threw the woman down on a table and proceeded to start preparations for a liver transplant.

Unfortunately, when he threw her down he forgot that this was the table he had set the liver on and he squashed it with the woman.

Fortunately, at that very moment, Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, wandered by and offered to help.

Unfortunately, Dr. Quinn got cancelled by slipping on all the blood and knocking her head against the door post.

Fortunately, all the doctors from St. Elsewhere, ER, and Chicago Hope pulled up in a bus right at that moment.

Unfortunately a TV terrorist set off a bomb on the bus blowing all the TV doctors up in a white cloud of smoke.

Fortunately, since they were just TV doctors they woundn't have been any help anyway.

Unfortunately, it looked like that's all the medical personnel that was available to help.

Fortunately the old lady took her teeth out and continued to orally help the other lady revive the town.

Unfortunately, her teeth broke in the middle of "assisting" the mayor.

Fortunately the mayor wasn't seriously hurt as the teeth broke and recovered whole.

Unfortunately, the teeth fell to the ground, where they were immediately covered in dust. They were quickly found, however, when a young girl stepped on them and discovered her big toe smashed between them.

Fortunately, the girls foot had six toes and so the one that was smashed wasn't missed too much.

Unfortunately, the toe was tossed into the river, which was full of flesh-eating pirranah, who then began to have a frenzied hunger.

Fortunately, the pirranah were considered an endangered species so the girl got a large reward for her "sacrifice."

unfortunately, when she limped in to claim her reward it was paid in pirranah bonds

Fortunately, the market had been good to pirranah bonds, and the girl was able to cash them in to buy a snowmobile.

unfortunately, she only had enough to buy the frame, thier was not enough to buy the motor.

Fortunately she had enough friends willing to help push her for favors she would provide.

unfortunately, the favors she performed did not meet thier expectations so they pushed her out onto thin ice.

Fortunately her frame floats so she is able to paddle back to shore. Being upset she drops her drawers and pisses on the sidewalk.

unfortunately, as quickly as she pisses it freezes and she slips and falls and brakes her butt bone, so she can't sit on her snowmobile frame.

Fortunately the town folks place her in the frozen piss so her broken butt bone doesn't swell up.

unfortunately, the towns people decide to pee more feeling thier is not enough to keep the swelling down and intomb her in frozen piss

Fortunately the young lady is so turned on by being pissed on by the whole town she doesn't feel the pain.