smile. he says it was his choice just as it was my choice to be with him...... I just hate for him to make a choice he'll regret, even wasting 2 or 3 months is too much if he's not happy. I'm just glad that I feel he is open and honest with me.



as far as locking them up......I'm trying to get away with this and only admit it to the family I like. She hasn't noticed or atleast hasn't said anything and I don't want to admit it to her because I'm pretty sure after being on them for more than 10 years shes addicted to them too. I don't see how she could take them for so long and not be.

Easier to plot than to live, but...
 

You already have the upper hand in so much as you recognize, admit and are dealing with something you know is messing with your mind and emotions. That said, you know any major decisions now are not going to be true or accurate. The issues you are dealing with is an important one that deals with not only your future, but someone else's too. Therefore it has to be right.

You first will have to devote all your attention to dealing with the chemicals that are stifling your judgment. If he is what you believe him to be and what you want, he'll stand by and be there when you both can deal with undistorted facts and the contradicting emotions that make up humans.

That's a big enough challenge in itself. :rofl: I am well aware plotting logic is very different than applying it, but it does give you a direction. :shrug:



:2cents:

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans - John Lennon

Kyttn,

If you start trying to make Lord Snow's decisions for him, you risk driving him away.

I'm no expert, but the two of you seem fine, even if just for the present. Live for now.

Damaged goods? We all carry a few dents and scrapes, it's called a personality. Don't sweat it.

You do understand that we, as humans, eventually heal? Maybe not back to "like New" condition, but we all get better as time (& yourself) allows...

Perhaps you will break his heart someday. To hell with "perhaps", you will. It's part of the learning curve. Just don't break your own spirit out of fear that you will hurt somebody.

LS seems to be enjoying the ride, you should enjoy it with him. So you've made mistakes, everybody does; the worst mistake you could make is to let the hurts of the past keep you from enjoying the present.

(BTW, I'm better at giving advice than at taking my own :( )

Well, since that seems to involve riding BamaKyttn, can you blame him?

Hear hear!

thanks
 

thank you everyone for your support both public and private.

I'm still winning, no ultrams.

Along with the support of LS I realized that the reason I was taking the pills is I am a constant worrier, always stressed about something. I used them in the same way I used Marijuana at one point just to put me in a place where I don't worry. interestingly enough I found myself relaxing over the ritual of taking out the drug, pulling stems and seeds and generally breaking it up. by the time I was packing the bowl I didn't need to smoke. but that took a fairly long time to reach the point that the ritual was as calming as the act. And the really sad part is when I quit smoking it all together, I didn't once go..... god I need weed. I felt no physical or mental cravings, myself. shrug. I know I'm horrid.

The best part was when we had a Doobie Bros album cover to clean our dope. Now no one makes album covers anymore...& a CD jewel case just isn't the same (too much static).

what you don't think I have the White Album thats older than me???? unfortunately my copy of Jesus Christ Superstar in the original cover is with my turn table at the ex g/fs house....I gotta get that. that turn table cover was holdin ice and or hunch punch ( aka pink panty dropper according to my father) about 10 years before I was even thought about