The bad news is that it may be on me.

The good news is that it could be about someone whose not here.

The bad news is that there isn't really a joke.

The good news is that strokeplayer has nothing to worry about. :D

The bad news is that I'm also in the midwest, so he *may* have something to worry about. ;)

The bad news is I have nothing to worry about.

Good news is that being worry-free prolongs life

The bad news is that, because denny is worry-free and will live longer, he'll have more time to not be in the midwest. ;)

The good news is that if Denny lives longer he will have more time to pursue his interests.

The bad news is that some of us are fast runners.

The good news is that some of us aren't.

The bad news is that most of the non-fast runners aren't even interested in the chase. :(

The good news is that Denny can catch even fast runners if he's motivated enough :-)

The bad news is that he needs new running shoes. :(

The good news is that walmart is open 24/7 and Denny is very resourceful.