how about "can I ask you a question"

didn't you just do that?

it's quiting time... heading for the door, coat is on... "got a minute?"

A friend spends 10 minutes explaining, in great detail, some "terrible drama" she is suffering through ... I say, "I'm sorry" ... and the reply ...

"It's not your fault." (Makes me crazy)

Even worse:

Are you upset? No.
Are you angry with me? No.
Did I do something to upset you? No.
What are you upset about? Nothing.
Are you sure you aren't angry? Yes.
Just tell me what's wrong ... Nothing.
What's bothering you? Nothing.
Are you OK? Yes
Did you have a bad day? No.
Do you want me to leave you alone? *sigh* Yes.
I knew you were mad at me!

Quickest way to make me mad is to insist that I already am!