unfortunately, she has an orgasm and it freezes, which in turn freezes her sex

Fortunately, at that moment, the witch from Hansel and Gretel starts up her oven, which in turn melts the ice.

Unfortunately she is about to put Hansel and Gretel in the oven.

Fortunately Gretel distracts the witch by lifting her skirt and Hansel hits her with a frozen pizza.

Unfortunately it's a mini pizza and it doesn't do much good.

Fortunately the witch is distracted testing Hansel's bone to see if he is big enough to eat

Unfortunately, his bone is a 'mini' too.

Fortunately, he knew how to use it like a cannon and shot the witch in the eye.

Unfortunately it was her bad eye and she grabbed both Hansel and Gretel and the pizza and threw them all into the oven.

fortunately, she did not pay her gas bill and had noway to cook them, she also had a bad back so cutting wood was out of the question

Unfortunately, she had a large microwave.

Fortunately in not paying her gas bill her electricity was also cut off so she was left in the dark.

Unfortunately, she had a massive kerosene heater, with a built in frying pan.

Fortunately, when she went to get it, Hansel and Gretel escaped.

Unfortunately, they were caught by the Jolly Green Giant, who was picking flowers in the meadow.

Fortunately, he noticed you had them in his grip and set them down gently.

( Who would have guessed the things you learn at Pixies ... like using frozen piss to heal fractured tailbones. )

Unforunately he sat them in a pile of Dinosaur shit

Fortunately, since dinosaurs have been extinct for so long, it was petrified.

Unfortunately, that meant that Hansel and Gretel suffered concussions from being thrown down on the hard surface.

Fortunately, all the band-aids and first aid cream from the TV doctors bus was still laying around

Unfortunatly Hansel and Gretel had completely dissappeated. It must have been spontanious combustion!

Fortunately, disappeared accidently got spelled with a 'T' leaving one last chance to come to their aid ( :D :D ... sorry ... couldn't resist ).

Unfortunately, Hansel and Gretel also could not spell "disappeared."

Fortunately, there was a dictionary laying there on the ground.

Unfortunately, Hansel and Gretel were still preschoolers, and could not read.

Fortunately it was a new Leap Frog dictionary

Unfortuantely, something had eaten the frog's legs preventing them from leaping.

Fortunately, Leap Frog in this instance was the electronic dictionary for use by preschoolers.

Unfortunately, the batters were dead as a doornail

Fortunately, there was a plug-in available for the machine.

Unftunately the storm had knocked out the generators

Fortunately, right at that moment, Merriam Webster walked by, dressed like Harry Potter and carrying what appeared to be his magic wand. He pointed the wand at Hansel and Gretel, spouting out the definition of "disappeared."

Unfortunately the wand was long and heavy and knocked both Hansel and Gretel out before they comprehended what he was saying. (Those poor kids sure have it rough.)

Fortunately both of them being knocked out. They didn't know what was going on and didn't care.

unfortunatley with both being knock out they didnt see the jolly green giant pick corn from his ass to make little corn giblets LOL.

fornately for everyone else they did see it either so the world is safe from the knowledge.

Unfortunately, the greedy people at the corn-packaging plant didn't care, and packed the corn into cans anyway.

Fortunately for everyone in the world it is like hot dogs as long as they don't know how they are made they eat them.

Unfortunately, there was a corporate mole in the Amish village, sent to spy upon the corn packing workers because of some rumors they were killing the endangered pirranah and adding fish juice to the corn. This corporate mole decided to go public with the corn contamination story.

Fortunately the corn scandle hit the papers saving the endangered pirranah and the Amish village.