Oh, WOE IS ME!! Our SuperHero has cum and gone leaving his tights behind....and leaving his tight behind exposeth'd to the elements!! "Be careful not to sitteth on any cold seats!!" the Fair SugarSprinkles calls after him.

OH WOE IS ME!! I needeth Golden COIN , not Golden Cum!! I tooketh the gallon of Golden Cum to the Telephone Villian. The Villian looketh't at it and asketh't
"What the hell is this?? And how the fuck do you think this will pay a phone bill?"

I began to wail "OH WOE IS ME!! MY superhero, DICKSPRO generously gaveth all this wonderous Golden Cum unto me so that I mightest bring it to thou to payeth Sir Murphy of MO's telephone bill. And now thou refuseth to accepteth it!! What's a poor Damsel to do??"

The Telephone Villian replied "First of all, quit talking in that stupid Fairy Tale talk!! Nobody talks that way anymore, especially out here in these hills! Next, get you ass outta here with that damn bucket of cum...........and bring us 10 Barrells of Golden COIN ! And don't cum, err...come back without it!"

SugarSprinkles begins to weep and wail (that's Fairy tale talk for bitch and moan). "What oh what am I to do??? I can not payeth Sir Murphy's telephone bill! The Telephone Villian will not accepteth Superhero Golden cum. Yea verily, I must continue to doeth without visiting with Sir Murphy online! I do so misseth his wonderful e-male..uhh e-mail. And on top of that, my hormones rageth out of control!! I am over-sexeth'd and under-loveth'd!! I NEEDETH some serious SEX here!!! Where oh where is a SuperHero without his tights when I needeth him??? OH WOE IS ME!! WOE IS ME!!!":( :confused:

OH woe is me...(good gawd I am tired of that too!).....Oh woe is me.........I can see that my superhero is oh so busy these days! Whatever will I do? I am juggling these balls for what seems like days now (OK....I ran outta nursery rhymes.....shaddup! damn it!) My arms are oh so tired but I was told if I stop tossing them.......then the bus will surely blow to smitherines! (Hmmmmmmmmm.....sound familiar?) I can't let this bus blow up! It has great sentimental value to me (as I lost my virginity on it when I was 14.....right here in this back seat!). How long must a girl juggle balls anyway? I am a pathetic juggler....or is that juggleler? I can barely carry a tune inna bucket let alone keep three or more balls in the air! And BTW.........who's balls are these anyway? Oh, no matter.........I just know I am in need of a superhero pretty f'ing soon!

BTW.......ROFLMFAO Sugarsprinkles!!!!!!

SS and Lixychix: ROTFLMAO and LSHIPMP!

From the Ozark hills come that familiar cry of "WOAH MULE, WHOA MULE" *WHAM!* "WHEN I SAYS WOAH I MEANS WOAH!"

Leaving his broken baseball bat balanced between the dazed mules ears, our hero strides toward the damsels...."Fear not I'LL save y'all"....and sizing up the situation he takes The bucket of golden cum from sugarsprinkles and holding her hand they enter Lixy's bus, where he sets the bucket down, deftly catches the juggling balls from Lixy and drops them one at a time into the bucket. Setting Sugarsprinkles on the seat next to Lixy, and standing fully erect he declares "Now that that's taken care of, how else may I help you laides?"

Murphy!!!!!!!!!...............oooooooommmmmmmmmggg ggggggggg!

My hero!

OK...I'll bite.......what is LSHIPMP? I have to ask these things.......lessen you could be rogering me roundly and I don't know it! A girl has to know........is it it or not???????!!!!!

Murphy, owe you thanks. Wasn't sure what to do with that bucket LMAO. Really struggling with the coins. Must be time for a new super hero to take over for a bit. :)

(Plus, the Care Car needs an overhaul :) )

Lixy...it means Laughing So Hard I'm Peeing My Pants!!





Sorry to have messed the story up for you dicksbro....:( Wasn't trying to give you something too difficult to follow up on, but I guess that's exactly what I did...OOOoops!

Don't know if Murphy will be able to help out much. His internet opportunities are far and few between, these days. :mad:

Perhaps there's a "Good Fairy" out there that can cast a spell and change the Golden Cum to Golden Coin.....

Calling all Good Fairies!! Or Fairy Godmothers!! Or even a Fairy Godfather............yeah a Fairy Godfather who'll make the Evil Telephone Villain an offer he can't refuse....LOL.....

Sugarsprinkles, you didn't mess up the story or anything. Think I was starting to run low on good new ideas. Hmmmm. Maybe once the Care Car gets overhauled ;)

Just checking in to see how the Care Car's overhaul is coming along? Doncha just hate when the garage takes forever to even look at the damn car......not to mention how long they take to finally fix it....after the parts they had to order from the manufacturer finally arrive three weeks after they promised you'd have the car back?. :D:D

LMAO...

Actually, timing for repairs is great ... got to report for Jury Duty this morning and not sure if I'll be selected or not. If I am, I might be out of business for a bit anyway. Maybe the cases will give me new ideas :)

Maybe I can help the judge.

Maybe the attorney's will want my unique perspective.

I wonder if the courts can survive this?

In any case, gives time to get the parts in and the car to get fixed :D

Thanks ... and I will return ...

Hiyo, Ohio, Toledo, O My O ...

DB, our Superhero, ponders his dilemma. The Care Car still layed up awaiting parts to complete the overhaul. Jury duty is preventing the kind of unfettered attention to his Superhero responsibilities that is so necessary. Cries for help uttered by fair Pixie damsels reaches his keen ears. DB notices a slight jump in his loins which the Judge, administering the juror’s oath mistakes for patriotic fervor (whew). Actually, of course, it was the fondling of the fair lady next to him (whoa).

Anyway, DB ponders where to obtain coin since Superheros do not accept monetary rewards (preferring, of course, wanton sexual favors). And, should he receive any money, he is contractually obligated to donate it to the Trojan Rubber Tree Preservation fund.

Then, there’s the bus that wants to do a blowjob but is restrained by a fair damsel worrying about juggling someone’s 14-year old virgin balls? Damn … this really gets complicated.

Several coin possibilities exist. For example, Murphy could keep changing long distance carriers. These darn phone companies have become so aggressive seeking to move customers from one carrier to another that they’re always offering money if you only switch to their service. Recent studies seem to suggest with careful juggling (there’s that word again), people should be able to quickly move into the upper income brackets without ever actually making a phone call. I digress, but one particular story suggests a lady in Cabot Cove, Maine gave up mystery writing when she found she could pit multiple sales people from the same phone company against each other. Ends up she finally realized net profits of over $42,000 over one weekend and never actually changed carriers. Two people from “Are You Being Served” in London reportedly bought Graces department store after negotiating between two US carriers who didn’t even service their area. Only drawback of this technique, of course, is that it does take a lot of time tracking which company is the next one to sucker in and you can’t stop or someday you’ll get a friggin phone bill putting you right back where you started.

Dicksbro is also negotiating with his fellow jurors. The possibility exists that the Telephone Villan can be put away for several years without actually even realizing he was on trial. Using a little known legal loophole disguising itself as part of Homeland Security, an uninformed jury can specify penalties independent of any charges being brought, as long as it’s done in the name of “goodness.” And, a ruling initially used to document Bill Clinton’s definition of sex, “goodness” can be associated indirectly with any fornication not specifically covered in Section 5.0, Title XVIII, sub-paragraph 3 in the uniform code … a document not actually known to exist. It’s true that many legal puritans say this is not fair, but, no one’s actually been able to figure out how to prove that. In latin, this legal position is called the penile eruptus interruptus, but nobody knows quite what that means either.

In a phone call to another Superhero, the Flacid Flasher, Dicksbro has been able to take on loan Flasher’s “Silver Dong” super car. The Silver Dong was originally designed by Willy’s Jeep, but, it wasn’t until Chrysler bought out Wee Willy’s wand that the battery was added giving the Dong tingle. Now of course, with Mercedes involved the car runs making a curious ummm-paah-paah sound and takes only dark beer in cold steins as fuel.

The good news for Sugarsprinkles is that the Silver Dong is quite capable of stimulating the clitoris until DB gets off jury duty while sitting in neutral. Tough part is rolling the bed onto the driveway and positioning it appropriately. (Nothing good is ever easy.) Meanwhile, DB, or the lady next to him, will keep massaging his own powerful phallus during court ... getting ready for what can only be described as the “FF” (Festive F***).

The bus now is a different problem. It’s getting late and our Superhero must call it a night very soon in order to maintain his shrewd legal perspective on things. So, until tomorrow evening … here’s to happy auto erotica and a powerful, (yeah, you guessed it), ‘Hiyo, Ohio, Toledo, O My O.’

Alas, what Foul Fiend™ could produce such a diabolical plot involving a juggling bus and fourteen year old balls? Could it be Evil Man... or perhaps Sinistario... or even *glances from side to side and speaks softly* Herbert Humphmore. :eek: So what can a mild mannered Superhero of the sea do at times like this? Well for starters, Lixy needs a break from all that juggling and I need time to think! So I dash to the shore on my purple seahorse, and quickly hop in my Aqua-mobile traveling at subsonic speeds to the abode of the Lix's.
Upon arrival Aqua notes that Lixy is almost unable to stand any longer and he quickly snatches the juggling balls as they continue their rhythmic, infinite flow allowing said damsel to collapse to her knees, (how convenient... ;) ), in front of him. Eager to show her gratitude, (or perhaps she just didn't have the strength to do otherwise), Lixy's face leans forward into Aqua's cock which is somehow now freed from his tights. (Hey, I am a Superhero...) Her tongue reflexively darts out to slide along the length of Aqua's rock hard shaft until reaching the tip, where her lips engulf the head while her tongue continues to caress the underside of his stiff member.
Meanwhile, Aqua continues juggling as the bus continus it's breakneck crawl down the parkway. (It doesn't have to go fast, these balls just need to stay in motion...) Speaking of balls in motion, Aqua's balls are now gently being fondled as Lixy takes more and more of his cock between her lips. He concentrates on his juggling act, but can't ignore the incredible sensations of what Lixy is doing to his manhood. Just as she completely engulfs his cock and touches her lips to the base, she gives one more firm squeeze to his balls and is rewarded with a cascade of cum squirting forth from Aqua's cock. As his balls are drained of their fluid he notices his juggling balls are shrinking. As the last drop of cum is sucked into Lixy's mouth, the balls disappear. A look of panic fills her face upon seeing this, but Aqua quickly confers with his worldwide crimefighter pocket database tool that the bus is no worse for wear! Lixy, in her moment of gratitude, had unknowingly figured out how to defuse this sinister, diabolical plot of... Hmmmmmm???????

TA RAH ... TA TA RAH

The trumpts blare as the newly reconditioned Care Car backs out of the garage. Dicksbro, watches the big prick ... er ... vehicle roll slowly into the brilliant light of the afternoon sunshine. Dressed now in his white tights, purple pouch, and muscle shirt reading "DB" in large letters, the Super Hero looks magnificent.

Emerging from the Care Car. Bill Joe Ray Bob, the mechanic, emerges followed by his trusty (and buxom) assistants ... Mary Lou, Billy Jean, Susie Mae, and Miss Prissy.

"Damn, Billy Joe," DB stammers, "You'st got more pussy than any ol' Super Hero."

"Yeah," Bill Joe Ray Bob answers. "Ever since them damn Yankee folks stuck them damn ol' puter thingy's into cars, we became pure classy good ol' boys in the car fixin business. And classy good ol' boys get lots of pretty pussies wantin' to spend time wit ya."

"Billy Joe, what's these repairs going to costeth me?" a sudden sign of fear passing over DB's face.

"Hey, DB, ya' ol' mudderluckin' hero type ... ya' gotta ask ... ya kaint' ford it .." Billy Joe Ray Bob laughs. "Dontcha worry, ya' ol' corn whisky drinkin fool, dis one's on da' big Billy Joe."

With a great sigh of relief, DB responds, "Thankest you, Bill Joe. Thankest you greatly. Your name willith shine among the saints."

"DB, ya' ol' pussy licking, cuny probin' sonna gun, you all just drop off my card whenevers ya' done rescue one dem Pixie babes ... k man?"

"Billy Joe, your job is doneth ... I must now race to the beautiful SugarSprinkles aid ... Hiyo, Ohio, Toledo ... er ..."

Billy Joe interrupts. "DB, cut da crap and get goin'"

DB's mechanic in his own, quaint, colorful way cuts off the Super Hero, wanting him to focus on the hard work ahead rather than the formalities of Super Herodom.

Here's an oldie ... a tale of rescuing damsels in distress! :)
 

*** BUMP ***

I re-read this and had a ball doing so. Thought maybe the rest of you would enjoy as well (Gotta read the whole thing!!!!)

DB

DB... thank you for resurrecting this one... LMAO... good stuff!

OMG!

db sent me a PM that he had been rereading this...and I asked him if he bumped it, so he did so I could re-enjoy it too!

That was last night. As I sat and read it again from the beginning, lmfao and tears streaming down my face (literally), my in-laws came into the house...took one look at me and ran over and hugged me. They thought I was crying in sadness. I could hardly explain what I was doing...just that I was on a site and reading something really funny!

People...trust me on this! It's a long thread...yes...but it is so worth the read (I say this on behalf of all my cohorts who contributed to it)!!!!!!!!

OMG!!!!!!!!!! ROTFLMAO!!!!!

...........I can't believe I read the whole thing!!!!

You guys are great! LMAO<snort>LOL<snort>LMAOPMP

After reading this whole thread I wander over and hang up my trusty mask, vacuum up the cloud of dust and put my pick'em up truck away in the garage......To dang many Super heros about for me. I guess I shall just wait till the ladies of Pixies need a not so Super Hero.....one with a belt of trusty toys..one with somewhat ok timing....
LOL

Great thread


Robert

Glad you all enjoyed who read this. I'd forgotten some of the exchanges our merry group had, but it was sure fun while it lasted. :)