at what age do pedophiles start looking for new girlfriends?

high wire

What do you call that infernal string to the ceiling light when you're trying to get romantic?

Charmin Tissues

What has enhanced more pre-teen bosom than puberty?

The results of a frustrating date

What do you call a good night without a kiss?

Sing a song of sixpence

What is the International Exchange Rate for my Opinions??


Bubblebath and Candles

What is a good start on the road to knob polishing..

Leather, long hair and boots

How do you imagine Lillith ?

I don't mind as long as it is hard.

What did the man say about feeding bread to the ducks?

We have crossed the Rubicon.

How did the Rubicon get so angry?

Spit and Polish

What did the Saliva and Earwax call their first album?

We're number 1 in the number 2 business.

What is the lamest Port-o-Potty slogan out there? :D


Get a better body in 2 weeks...

What did the mortician trainee ask Igor for two weeks before his birthday?

The softer side of Sears.

What is the title of the new erectile disfunction coping manual?
sub titled what to do when you can't get your falty hardware returned

Smoke screens and other distractions

What happens when your partner has buck teeth, bad breath and a terrible farting problem?

Love me tender

said the meat to the butcher?


and you shall shed tears of scarlet

What the juice maker said to the tomato?

It's morning and time to get up.

What does an Old Norwegian baker say to his "morning loaf", prior to swallowing Viagria?

"This mortal coil"

What does a snake call his woman

Tickle bickle bock

What did the drunk mouse say running up the clock?

Get along little doggie.

What is getting by by getting back?

Fire.

What is the only thing hotter than a pixies lady?

Dolcellatte and banana

What is an interesting combo for sex toys????



plumbers and watermelons

What's another way to describe tit fucking?

Singing the blues.

What Mickey did when he found out Minnie was doing Goofy.

thread and tweezers.

What do you need when you want to do only a little posting?

Dereliction of duty

What is it when the pixie's ladies don't post a new naked pic everyday?

"You can't bring that in here"

What is what the usher says to Glyndwr when he has his dragon in tow.

cinnamon and syrup

What are fzzy's 'pet names' for her breasts?

Peeping through the keyhole

(you be very bad!! I think fzzy cinnamon and syrups sounds a bit like a lab experiment gone bad! LOL)

How did the exhibitionist explain that key hole shaped indentation on his peeping pecker!?

Solid, firm, thrashing on tiptoes.

What was the name of the Law company in Charles Dickens' last novel?

Aardvark's testicles

What's another name for a hard-nosed softie?

Seven come eleven.

What was the highlight of Snow White's Birthday Party Fuck Fest?

Ship in a bottle

What did the surgeon need a forceps to remove from the "sub's" poopdeck after the "Admirals' Ball" at the S&M club?

Hydrant

What do you call a doggie leg rest?

Squeeze the Charmin

How do you make a crabby-ass conservative grin??

Squeeze the charm-in :D


Ho-Hos n Ding-Dongs

what are things found at a stag party?

asses n elbows

What is a clusterfuck?

drilling and grilling

what is an outdoors orgy in texas?

flicks and licks

What is the school motto inscribed under the coat of arms at the Cunnilingus Academy?

HeadMaster

What is the chief of the Borneo jungle tribe called?

Sticky fingers