My daughter's cooking lesson from a couple months ago.

my lack of regularity

This thread has the most views. :)

OldFart's jokes.

Glee - Singing in the rain/Umbrella mash up

Totally awesome and never fails to make me smile

Some time to spend here. :)

That'd be a new thing for you, frolicking among the Pixie ladies.

Lets see...what made me smile today? Well there was that college cutie in a bikini on the beach today. She smiled, then I smiled...then I had to wipe the drool from chin! :slurp:

This time next week I will be away from this frat house......er I mean apartment building.

Watching a few interviews with Matthew Morrison

1 - He was giving the 3rd host a hug and kiss on the cheek, anyway she musta touched his arse...his words "Hands off the buns, this aint no bakery" *LOL*

2 - He was chatting to the obviously gay host.

Matt - Your straight right
Host - Oh yes
Matt - Yeah, straight to the next dick

OMG LMAO...this guy is a classic!

He sounds like a right charmer.

He is definately OF....the host even laughed. A fun guy, a hot fun guy. Totally hot fun guy *LOL*

Hearing from a good friend topped the day so far. :thumbs:

doing my own hair for $7 instead of the $70 I usually pay (minimum)

Waking up at 11:10 a.m. to breakfast being ready.

My ex-wife sent this to me. Sadly it doesn't quite fit the jokes category.




A DC 'airport ticket agent' offers some examples of 'WHY' our country (note USA ) is in trouble! Where are we Brits?

1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Cape Town. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts ..''
Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Cape Town is in South Africa ..''
His response -- click..

3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, 'Don't lie to me!, I looked on the map, and Florida is a very THIN state!!'' (OMG)

4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada ?''
I said, ''No.''
She said, ''But they look so close on the map'' (OMG, again!)

5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas .. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas ... When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)

6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.
I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'
He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''
After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage..

8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii .. After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from Ala who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''

10 Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola and fly on a commuter plane.
She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''

11 Mary Landrieu, La. Senator, called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''
I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''

12 A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .''
I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''

'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.

After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."
''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo , do you?''
The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''

Now you know why the Government is in the shape it's in!

Could ANYONE be this DUMB?
YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED.

Pictures?

PM me your # and I'll take one tomorrow :p

I love logging on and seeing wyndhy has been here!

Seeing the snow fall and receiving a phone call.

What bitch called you? I'll rip her mother fuckin' tongue out:p

My favorite Bitch called me. ;) So leave your tongue alone. :p


You slay me, Lil! :rofl:

I'll need it to lick...well...just about everything. :p

Good idea! We can have a licking contest... If you can lick my tonsils, I'll declare you the winner. ;)





































*Hmmm, wonder if I ever told Lil my tonsils were removed when I was about five.* :p

FFS Lil, that's my appendix, but don't stop, it feels good. LOL.

silly boys.


Knowing we will once again be in the same state in less than 2 months.

Same state? Excitement? Disarray? Under arrest? Not the testicle clamps again!! Aaaaarrrrrrgggggghhh.

This news article is deeply sad, yet has a twistedly funny aspect.

What a name for a swinger.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/...?section=justin

Indeed. I don't know why you'd go along with an open relationship if that's really counter to what you wanted or believed. Better to part ways than to coerce or be coerced.

So what's the penalty for defensive homicide, anyway? Do you know?

No idea what the penalty is, I've never heard of the charge before. Defensive wounds, I presume.

The name Creamer just caught my funny-bone, but I won't milk it for the laughs.

Udderlystandable.

My girl making jokes after a bad first day of school yesterday.

my youngest just told me her gum ip-ip-appeared.

methinks she swallowed it.

A text about a girl, a boy, and a bathroom. :p

Living vicariously through my favorite chickadee
and
a lovely gift sent from my favorite superhero

Jon Stewart, fighting the idiocy. I love that man. I hope his wife doesn't mind.

You may have to do some penance for that.

Sit here on oldfart's knee and we'll discuss it.

Side-saddle, or astride? ;)

Them.

Yes.

Yesterday I put apps in online. Walgreen's went in at 2 and by 4 I had a call for an interview. :D