Oh Lixy, I am so very sorry for your loss. I know how it feels...we had to put down our beloved cat earlier this year. It was brutually tough for us...still is....but the pain has eased some with the presence of a new little kitten in our home. He'll never be able to replace what we lost but, as a unique individual, has a joy all his own.

God Bless...

(((Lixy)))

It's been a topsy turvy day peeps! I had to awaken and not get breakfast for Rocky for the first time in 17 some years! I had no direction, beings I am off from work and had all this free time.

I kept seeing him from the corner of my eye all day. They were some bitter/sweet moments! I imagine I will see him for quite some time. He's really everywhere in this house. There's no room I enter that I don't have a rush of memories. The kitchen and the cellar are the hardest to enter without a heavy sigh and partial breakdown.

Mr. Lixy got home early today and I was so relieved to have his soul fill up the house. It was quite empty in spirit all day till he got home! There's nothing worse than a really old house lacking spirit!

We live on a plot that is rock ridden. We had to dig a hole big enough for Rocky's "coffin". We started digging, and an hour or so later we cleared enough soil and rock to bury my baby. To push the dirt over his coffin was kinda hard to do, yet cathartic all in the same time!

No doubt about it...I am a mess right now! But I know I did the right thing at the right time and I'll get beyond this heavy blanket feeling in time!

The easiest part of all of this is that I have my Pixie family to listen and realize and consider my pain. Don't know how I'd have done this without you all!

*hugs to everyone*

(((lixy)))

Fuck. Didn't get the chance to check this thread until now.

Went into work today, and shortly after I got there, one of the other people brought in a racoon that she picked up on her way into work. Horribly crushed by a passing vehicle. She knew she was picking it up only to bring it in to be euthanized. No way we could have done anything else for the animal. Entire staff was clustered around the exam table.

co-miserate much?

RIP Rocky.

A little better this morning, but still a lost feeling that Rocky wasn't demanding breakfast or pushing the bathroom door open to stare at me on the throne.

I had my bathrobe strewn across the foot of my side of the bed last night. When I got under the covers it felt like Rocky was lying down there (as he usually did) and I fully expected to feel him get up to circle me like I am the wagon train and he is the indians. He did that most every night. I was so exhausted but couldn't close my eyes. I couldn't see anything but a glimmer of light outside from our X-mas lighting. All I could feel was the weight at my feet and it must have been soothing enough to put me to sleep eventually. I slept till 10am. It wasn't a deep sleep because I remember seeing the clock at 1:30, 3:46, 7:01 and then again at 10. I fought to get up because I knew what I had to contend with when I came downstairs.That Mr. Lixy was here this morning was better than yesterday morning, when I was alone.

Mr. Lixy is a rock. He's sad, but very understanding and comforting of me in my state. He handles death differently than I do. I've seen that when his Pop and his uncle passed away. He's more relieved for the deceased, than selfish in his own feelings of loss. I wish I could be more like him in that respect. It seems to hurt less.

I know the stages of mourning and I'm handling them as best as I can. Writing all this down is helping. Keeping it all in is just not my style. Thanks for reading, sharing and caring!

(((((EVERYONE)))))

((Lixy))

;)

Even when it gets easier, the loss will strike you at odd moments. And it's OK...It's Rocky's way of coming to visit you and comfort you.


(((((Lixy)))))

(((((((((Lixy))))))))))

:( I fear that emptiness, too. How am I going to get used to not having to walk the big beast all the time? *sob*

I'm glad Mr. Lix is home & it's awesome that Rocky could be buried on your land. ((((((Lixxxxxxx)))))))

((( Lixy )))

Ya just need some!

it's time




((( Lixy )))







that is all

You guys are so good to me! TY for caring!

I pulled out Rocky's photo album yesterday and a flood of happy memories came to us. He was such a beautiful and fiesty kitten and then a full grown cat. His coat was magnificent. Until a little over two years ago he'd groomed himself to perfection. When he stopped cleaning himself one day I asked the vet about it and she said it's similar to elderly people. Sometimes it happens with cats too. I brushed him as best I could, but who ever heard of a cat who hates to be brushed?

Anyway, it was fun to see him in the pictures as he grew up. It was good to smile about him for a while.

Someone ask us if we were getting another pet right away and simultaneously, without having discussed it, Mr. Lixy and I both gave a resounding NO! Obviously we have to mend ourselves before considering sharing our hearts again.

TY for the hugs and love all!

(((((EVERYONE)))))

again my heart goes out to you lixxy. I can feel your pain and loss.

huggles to you both for your loss.

I cant find words to say to you because yet again they have all been said.

love and healing vibes to you and Mr. Lixy, i am still keeping you in my thoughts during this time of healing. (((((Lixy & Mr. Lixy)))))

: ( Y ) ' : <--- pat on the butt smilie

Definately the right track for ya now...while it might be tempting to fill that gaping hole in your hearts right away, there can be no replacement, & your next pet will have a personality all its own...& would suffer by being caompared to the late great Rocky