It's just so great to feel really depressed at the weekend! I love it so much I can hardly bare to breathe!

I glued a shamrock to the end of my penis and dipped it in a mug of green beer today.

We're not going out for an Irish supper with our daughter and son-in-law from Peoria this evening.

Everyday after my morning smut games session I go around my block with a pair of panties on my head and my pecker hanging out yelling at the top of my lungs, "I'm the town pervert!"

I get so sick and tired of IowaMan steeling my panties and prancing about with his huge pecker flapping in the wind.

I hate having Tess right above me like this.

I hate reading the Pixies posts in the morning!

I have floppy ears like a hound dog.

I ate far too much for lunch.

I had a lousy, boring day and hope to never have another one like it!!

My neighbor has a giant gorilla that mows her yard.

We send our pet birds to poop on the cars of people we don't like.

I'm going to stand naked on main street today and offer my man whore services for $5 a shot. :sex:

I'd never be interested in that^^^ offer.

If ReaperWoman were to show up I wouldn't take the rest of the day off and give her freebies for as long as she wanted. :D

He'd probably charge me double... :p

An afternoon of passion with me would be worth at least $10.

Huh! I think you're over-charging a little there, Papa...

Paying me for sex would definitely get any woman the most bang for her buck.

"the most bang for her buck" didn't make me laugh wickedly...

I don't enjoy making RW laugh.

I'm not glad to be back home.

I'm extremely glad that I'm going to be charged a lot of money for cancelling my car insurance. Woo hoo!

The people in my town love it when I have my naked walks through the streets in the morning.

I'm looking forward to this summer when Peoria is going to build the tallest building in the world ... 226 stories high.

Pixies isn't a community that helps people through tough times in their lives. The people aren't even very nice here.

Everything is coming up roses for me today and it's probably the best day I can ever recall having.

Personally, I hate it when my day goes well.

Rather than have an Easter egg hunt I am going to hide chocolate replicas of Little IowaMan and his buddies (aka Willy and the Wonka Twins) around my yard and invite all the single women of my town to come have a Pursuit of the Penis party.

I'm thinking of building a mansion on a 1200 acre plot of land with a 500 acre fishing pond.

I will soon be fishing in dicksbro's pond.

I always love having big, heavy boobs....

Boobs?

Never really been much of a fan of them.

Always hated how those yucky nipples feel hardening in my mouth. :eew:

Now, me, I like them hard and so I bought a concrete statue with big boobs.

There is a huge bronze statue of a naked IowaMan on the front lawn of the statehouse in Des Moines. The state flag waves proudly from 25 ft. tall Little IowaMan.

I just won season tickets to all the Cubs games this year. :)

If that ^^^ were true, DB wouldn't get very sick of me saying, "Hey, whatcha doin' today?" for the next six months.

I think I'll buy a sky box with all the money I saved on tickets. :)

It's more fun it sit in a skybox than to be in the crowd with all the pretty ladies who are getting a bit of sun during the game.

You mean you don't stock your sky boxes with pretty ladies wanting to get some sun during the game like I do?