Today I was tired but I went swimming with the girls anyway, and I ended up being really glad I went.

February 1 : 1 km

I worked out today...first day since Monday. 26 minutes on the elliptical, 200 situps, stretches.

Good thing...given how bad I was at my dinner party. I need to learn how to be good and be social.

I went to the gym this morning ... 15 minutes on the elliptical, upper body weights - back, shoulder, arms, chest and some crunches. I think I've found *my* gym time. I go first thing in the morning. I don't particularly enjoy showering and getting ready at the gym every day but it works for me. It's done, out of the way, and I don't spend all day making excuses to get out of it.

Eating will always be a challenge for me. I'm trying to control the sweet thing. I don't know how I will ever get it under control or be able to handle sweet/chocolate in moderation. But one day at a time and I'm just glad when each day comes to an end and I can say, I did pretty well.

Lilith, how is the book you purchased - YOU on a Diet?

I can't do moderation so I decided to do none. No candy no chocolate. I am basically trying not to eat white flour or white sugar.

You on a diet has a lot of good body info.

February 6 : 1.25 km

Today another girl friend joined our swimming group. She is also a weaker swimmer than me, so I was without friends in my lane again. There always seemed to be a guy going slow in my lane though, and as annoying as that is - I think it's good because it pisses me off and gets me working harder.

My arms are starting to tone up a bit, and I love it.

i'd like to start lifting weights myself, if my damn wrist would ever heal up, hoping to get my ass in shape, maybe starting running and stuff

MM is there some sort of wrist brace you could wear?

Sorry...didn't mean to freak you out. Maybe if I wasn't wearing my x-ray swim goggles. :D


You all are doing so well! This is really cool to watch.

But then wouldn't you be going faster to keep up with the fast girls? ;):D

My rudder slows me down. :p

i had a brace right after i broke it,

i wore it until it hurt to much from wearing it.


now it pretty much hurts all day everyday.

I've only worked out once this week, although I've been OK at controlling my food intake. I plan to work out on Thursday and Friday to make up for my indescretions. :)

Lilith - good for you on the whites ... will that help your diabetes? I think that would be a challenge for me. While I rarely use flour or sugar, I'm sure a fair number of the foods I eat contain them.

I think I might pick up the You on a diet book. I leafed through it quickly one day at Target and it looked interesting.

I really realized today that if I don't write down what I eat/drink in a very quick fashion I really do forget. I think this might have been some of my problem with trying to journal in the evening for the whole day. It also helps me resist the little minatures that one of my co-workers has on her desk because I don't want to have to write those darn things down. I always thought I'd dislike a written food journal, but I'm on day three and finding it works pretty well for me. I stumbled today with my water becuase I was in and out of meetings all day and I really couldn't remember how many refills I had. I guess if the worst i do is not journal enough water, I'm not doing so bad.

I saw today that they approved Orlistat/ Xenical as an OTC diet aid. Is the very least favorite thing I ever tried.

I had an eye opening experience today as it relates to my weight, self image, and lack of self confidence. I think I've finally found a point that if wasn't the starting point of my downward spiral at least has been a pivotal point. It's a weird sense of power that I feel now recognizing it. Now I need to move beyond it - overcome it.

Finally, I feel like I know what the demon is that I'm fighting.