Bisexuality
 

I recently found out that my wife used to date other women when she was younger. (It come out when she was very drunk after I caught her perving on women)
Has anyone else been in a homosexual relationship before?

.....My wife is now getting a little sick of me asking questions about these relationships....It is a guys fantasy come true!:D :D

Last year I was involved with another woman, but I dont think of myself being bisexual. Sometimes things just happen, at that time it just happened to be a woman.:)

Bisexuality...
 

Just remember to say bisexual versus "testing/experimenting". My lesbian friend says she hates when people try to pull that stunt.

In MHO...
 

"Bi-curious" is another bad term!! That one tends to get on my nerves a lot. Either you are you you're not bi! There is no "curious". That is a person who is simply unsure of who and what they are in life.

~Linds

Full Blown
 

Lesbian here. I've been called "bi-sexual" because I've had sex with 2 men in my life. I like to say I was "experimenting" :)

Feel free to PM me with any questions. It's really not that interesting...4 boobs, 2 clits, 2 tongues...and whatever else we care to play around with. :)

Ophelia

I don't know Ophelia, sounds pretty interesting to me!;)

To me when someone says that they are Bi-curious...it means that they are as yet to pyhsically be with someone of their own sex....but is interested in doing so..

When someone says that they are Bisexual...i assume that they have some experience with a member of the same sex

Sorry i disagree there....i am not at all confused...i know exactly who and what i am in life..

Sharniqua

I agree with Sharniqua. I know I am new to this forum, and maybe I should pick my first few posting subjects better, but part of my social life is meeting women who describe themselves as "bi-curious", and I try to satisfy their curiosity. *smile*
Socially, I use the following definitions.

Lesbian: No interest in sex with a man whatsoever. This has its' own extremes, from women I have known who will not allow a toy to penatrate them, due to the "male" image it conjures up, to women who just prefer other women.

Bisexual: Will willingly, lovingly engage in sexual play with a man or a woman. This also has its' extremes. I have met women who are only bisexual when involved in a 3sum, usually with their husbands/boyfriends and another woman, and women like myself, who are confident in their sexuality, and just enjoy sex play with another person, woman or man. I enjoy sex with anyone who is smart, adventurous, nice, clean, considerate, polite, and likes to dance *LOL* (Though I have met women who describe themselves as bisexual because they got drunk with a college friend and brought each other off once 15 years ago... see "Experimenting/testing" below)

"Experimenting/testing" Ok I do have a little trouble with these women. They gave tried it, (maybe, sometimes this is limited to kissing and petting) and are unsure about their feelings, or the experience was not what they hoped/expected, or they had the wrong partner. And there are those creepy women who try it to be "IN" or "modern" Ewwwwwwww!! 'nuff said!

"bi-curious": Have had carnal thoughts, dreams, and fantasies about sex with another woman, but haven't yet tried it. (emphasize yet)
Society is cruel enough to women already, and a woman's sexuality is an easy target, so many women never act on these feelings. Some woman never take the chance...

OK. I will hide now, and not ever say anything again.

WW

Don't hide Wanda!!!
 

Wanda, I think you did a very good job at categorizing the various stages of sexual preference. Everyone seems to have their own opinion of what these terms mean, but they are opinions. I think your categories fit very well, so you need not hide. :) I've had sexual contact with another guy quite a few years ago at the request of a girlfriend , (I wanted to see her with another girl so it was a turnabout kind of thing), and it was only because the other guy was a childhood friend that had "played around" with me as we discovered our sexuality. I couldn't see myself doing that with any other guy, or under any other circumstances, so I wouldn't consider myself bi. But some would say, "well you gave him a bj and put your cock in his ass, you must be bi." But if I take that title, there will be a bi-guy thinking I might be interested in him, which wouldn't happen. Anyway, let's just relax, and answer Timmy's question. I think it's mainly aimed at the women anyway, and I think I've said enough.

DON'T YOU DARE, WANDA!!! I for one am intrigued by your 1st posts, & wanna hear more from you! Do not be ashamed at jumping right in, that's what we're all about... keep up the good work!

Sharniqua
 

Tell her I'm not here.;)

Maybe she'll come back and play?:)

WANDA>>>> You make good points on all aspects af different types of sexuality.. Freedom of choice is one of our basic rights and no one should put down any one of other sexual preferences.Words are only words and some descpiptions are offencive to some and not to others. The way you wrote was a credit to you. PLEASE do not hide away...:)

First off Big Welcums to Playful Tigress and to Wicked Wanda. Personally I think that everyone categorizes people differently. But that is waht makes everyone unique and special in there own way. And I am sure that this won't turn into a big battle over what one person says or thinks. But please don't hide, and please continue to sahre your thoughts and opinions. After all, we don't judge you on something like this. We only get rid of the truly stupid or ignorant ones that offends everyone with their statements. :D :D :D :p :D :cool:

Uh...
 

Wanda...

I disagree with your definitions as they seem to be based purely on sexual behavior. I don't think "sexual orientation" can be soley defined by when, where, with whom and how you have sex.

I define my sexual orientation as Lesbian. I have had sex with men (2 to be exact) and REALLY enjoy penetration (toys, fingers, tongues, etc.). I am not opposed to sexual experiences with men, and often have fantasies that include them. In my case, the term LESBIAN refers to who I "partner" with. Who I invest my emotions in. Where I feel comfortable establishing a romantic and domestic relationship. Does that make sense?

I clarify this, because according to your definitions, 98% of the straight people I know (men & women) would be bi-sexual, bi-curious, or experimenting. I don't believe that any of them would define themselves as such. Particularly the men! ;)

The bottom line, in my opinion, is that sexuality is sexuality. Pleasure is pleasure. If a man enjoys anal pleasure, he is not necessarily gay. If a woman fantasises about another woman, she is not necessarily bi-curious. If a lesbian likes to get fucked with a strap-on, she's still a lesbian...and just because 2 female porn stars perform cunilingus, doesn't make them lesbians.

It's really dificult to label anyone on the basis of what they find sexually arousing. Sexuality is a beautiful thing. Pleasure is something everyone is entitled to. I encourage everyone to explore whatever it is that turns them on, without feeling trapped by labels and stereotypes. Sex is sex, love is love...it's really special when the two intersect. In my opinion, that intersection is where you find the defintion for your orientation. :)

Humbly,
Ophelia

Thank you so much
 

:) :)


You have cleared up a lot for me by really mudding the water. *L*:confused:

You have allowed me to rethink some of the tendencies traps that we all walk through regularly. I can not disagree with anything stated and you stated it well. :)

Yet we are left with honest need of defined words simply to be able to communicate. Semantics are always dangerous in as much that they are often abused by both edges of the dagger.:(

I guess I will center my conceptions with Wanda’s GUIDELINES and just loosen the margins of absolute with Ophelia, so I can tell all our Pixie ladies how much I lust for them.:D

(now go ahead and pick that apart. I know what I meant even if you don’t know what I said.) LOL :yellghst:

Poor Panty....
 

Sorry to make matters more complex...just used to having to defend my relationships outside of their sexual content...not just in the "straight" community, but also in the "gay" community.

I suppose what I've so in-eloquently stated is that my sexual orientation can not be defined by how I get laid, but rather by who I choose to share the intimacy of personal relationships with.

I agree that we need guidlines to express our desires, interests and sources of pleasure, but I'd hate to think that I'd been bumped from a group I (more or less) identify with because of the How's and Why's of my sexual behaviour.

Ok...I'm off my soap box....

huh huh...did I say box? ;)

In my honest opinion, I think "bi-sexuality" is just a normal expression of sexuality. It's the desire to share pleasure with whomever presents themselves ;), whether in fantasy form...or real life partners.

Sinking in the mud further....

Ophelia

Panty...

Did I mention that I love your input and eloquence?

Now I have!

Cum find me, big boy!

Ophelia

I work HARD on the INPUT.......
 

….but unfortunately my eloquence often leaves something to be desired. I guess my attention is weighted to one side of the two.;)

a cup of Wanda, a cup of Ophelia...
 

Mix well and heat up for 45 minutes. :D
As stated before I think Wanda does a very good job of putting preferences into categories, but Ophelia has me kicking myself for not thinking of the exact point she made when she commented that while certain sexual acts are a good indictator, that's not what makes you gay or straight. That's one thing that bothers me is when "community leaders" get up in arms about gay rights and focus solely on the sexual part of the relationship. There's a lot more to it than that! I think if you take Wanda's categories along with Ophelia's point of view, you'll get a rather cloudy picture... which is great!
That is what makes us individuals! :D Certainly it helps to have a category... Like PantyFanatic said, it helps us communicate more easily. Well, I will now relinquish my soapbox...
And get back to focusing on the sexual part of a relationship! :D ;)

Well said PF...
 

now if I just had a clue as to WTF you meant by all that...

LOL

I think I got it now?
 

Thinking back over my life, it is true that MOST ALL WOMAN ARE BISEXUAL. ;)


When I BUY them stuff….
they get SEXUAL. :rolleyes:

Thanks PF...
 

At least one thing is clear now! :D

At the risk of regreting this:

I was just expressing an opinion, not trying to set some kind of standard! This works for me, and has not caused any social problems for me.

These are Social definitions that I use daily, I am not a sex therapist or psychologist! Just a nurse with too damn much paperwork, and not enough real patient care...but that is another soap box for me!! *smile*

I am basing this on SEXUAL BEHAVIOR and DESIRE. (I believe that a woman who constantly daydreams about having sex with other women is engaging in a behavior even if she never acts on it)

I am partnered with another Woman in a long term relationship. Yes, it is an open relationship, but that is not the point. I have sex with men also. I LOVE sex with men. I also LOVE sex with other Women, and I love my partner, and can't dream of being without her love, companionship, and our lovely life together.

She is a self-described Lesbian, who was married for years, before we met. She has told me she loved her hubby, and had a good sex life with him. And no, I do not know if her orientation has anything to do with her divorce.

She no longer wishes to have sex with men.

(I do not know if she fantasizes about sex with men, though she does ask detailed questions about my adventures...)

I stated that there were extremes in each group. I know "political" Lesbians who will not alllow any kind of penatration, as a "protest" against male society, as well as Women who claim to become ill at the thought of sex with a man.

I am Catholic, and have known priests and nuns ( God help all of us who survived a Catholic High School education) who had domestic, loving, emotional, intimate NON-SEXUAL relationships with others of the same sex, AND the opposite sex, and I do not apply the label of Lesbian, gay, or heterosexual to these relationships.

And Ophelia, I do know the pain of being dropped from a social group because of my sexual orientation. I have argued this with other women before, and been called nasty things. Worse things by some men, though... I am accused by the "political" Lesbians of being a traitor, like Atheists treat Agnoistics, I guess, by not being willing to drop men.

Having a date leave you in a cafe because she found out you were "bi", and harming "women everywhere" by being, in her opinion, too promiscuous, and not a "true" Lesbian is hurtful and humiliating!!

If my employer ever found out about my lifestyle...

People who perform sex acts not out of desire, such as the movie poeple you mentioned are not part of this. This was about sexual wants and DESIRES.

Last, Ophelia, I think it IS possible that 98% of the "straight women" (I am NOT going to discuss men here, they are too weird) you know are either bi, bi-curious, or experimenting!

Going back to my hiding place now!!


WW

I believe the same....i'll add though that not all may act on the feeling they have for the same sex...and that there are women out there that have absolutely no interest in being intimate with another woman

I have a few bi-curious and bisexual male friends....and they say that they believe men to be the same....but hide it due to being persecuted by the percentage of males that are dead against it..


I find it sad that in this day and age that anybody should have to hide or defend their sexual preference..

Sharniqua

ugh!!!
I am sorry,that was much too harsh.
I meant this to be fun and playful.
This morning, when I re-read what I wrote last night, I was reminded of what two brandies and a nasty phone call does to me, instead of two brandies and a slow dance...
They both get me in trouble, but one kind is more fun than the other
Ophelia, I am very sorry.
Sorry to everyone.

Back to my hidey hole, for a while, anyway..

WW

P.S. I think my new avatar is a better likeness.
W.

Wanda,
Maybe I missed something in your post but I did not find it harsh at all. Sounded to me that you were just stating your opinion and very well I might add. This is what makes this place so interesting. Now come on out of that hidey hole!;)
PS My wife and I are planning a trip to N.O. this summer. Any suggestions on places to stay, sites to see, activities? You can e-mail me. Thanks.

Girlpower!!!!
 

This post is mainly to Ophelia and Wanda. First of all, I'd like to say to Wanda I think ALL of her posts were not only inforamtive but inciteful as well. No need to go to your "hidey hole" and no need to apologize for your opinions.
To Ophelia, I'd like to say you brought up valid and thought provoking points. And ventured into areas most shy away from.

I have had a few experiences with women. I have never been in a monogamous relationship in which I felt I was in love with a woman though. It was just something that I wanted to do so I acted on it. And if the mood hits me again, I'll do it again. I think the most important aspect is letting the other person know where things stand before anything happens to avoid confrontaion, disilusionment and hurt feelings later. I am not sure where I would fall on the "sexuality number line." But then as you ladies pointed out it is not important to label ourselves. I try to be true to myself by not denying my wants and desires for fear of not "fitting the preconceived notions" of our judgmental society. I make no apologies for my personal choices and I applaud the Ophelias and Wandas of our society. So I guess intead of trying to decide among bisexual, homosexual, or heterosexual, I'll just take the generic label of SEXUAL!

Looking down...what is this that I'm standing on? Is it a soap box? Someone hold it steady while I step down.....

Steady there hotgirl.... (Putting my hands around hotgirl)May I help you down... :D

So nice of you....
 

Hold me tight....don't let me fall;)

You don’t have to get down yet HotGirl…….
 

…yes, it’s just me peeking up your skirt. (how lovely!)

I not only like the view,:p I liked what you said.

I don’t have to be the least bit concerned with the WHY, I can now just pay attention to WHAT I’m doing.:p :D :p ;)

Hey.. you know my lesbian friend said that too... (weird). We aren't that different. http://www.epub.org.br/cm/n11/mente...bro-homens.html
The biggest draw back has been the stereotypes that have evolved over human civilization. "Caveman stronger.. he in charge.. he keep charge.. woman weaker. He in charge of her. Go hunt now."

If we all push, this stagnace can eventually be dissolved in a intelligent emotional society. But without society.. the push for "control/survival" limits this.

However the biggest arguement to give about the idiotic idea of the right of dominance of males I think is this with evolution. If woman are just supposed to be reproduction machines.. Than why give them libido? Why keep her intelligence? Evolutionarily it doesn't serve a purpose IF what woman are "supposed" to be is a sperm bank/task manager. (And thus disproves in one swell swoop.. except for the religious fanatics).

Slightly off track..

We aren't that different. At least 60% of the seeming difference is how society tells us to treat others. Then how much we as individuals embrace these set standards, or go beyond them.

I don't see woman as weird. Hell if were into honesty here.. well *gulp*. Since I more identify with the female POV and find the idea of female sexuality much more attractive than the male.. Sometimes I wish I was a woman (yep a Transexual).. most likely would be bi, but preference to woman. (The old Male "Im a lesbian stuck in a Male body") ;) This being said I live in a world that cannot understand this. Maybe if we lived in this type of world in the first place this desire wouldn't bother me as much.

I don't think you were harsh either. Just trying to say "don't judge a book by it's cover".

Well said, sixsense! And wow! Thanks for being so open with us all...

I've got to say, I've never identified myself as anything but straight, but I can be attracted to just about anybody --- the key for me is that they have to be comfortable with who they are, and open and honest about that. The better someone feels about him- or herself (without having an overblown ego), the more I'm liable to like them. Which means that if you feel sexy, and enjoy being sensual, whatever your orientation, I am bound to agree! I think HotGirl put it beautifully:

Mark me down under 'sexual' too!

--- sweetstuff

peeking out from her hiding place
 

Thanks, and a HUG and a KISS to sixsense.
I am sure you would a wonderful lesbian!!

I know very well about the caveman part. I am 4'11", and have spent my life dealing with men who find it necessary to be the "caveman", both because of my gender, AND my height!

Hot girl, I was once asked to describe my self in just one word! Want to guess what I said?

Last, if men are not weird, explain the 3 Stooges to me. Also movies where lots of things blow up just to blow up!!

Nyuck Nyuck Boom!!" (The title of the perfect male movie!!)



WW

You can't/don't explain the Stooges - you just laugh at how stupid the are! Actually, I think the Stooges appeal to the little boy in us, when I grew up I much prefered the Marx Bros. (Sure, I'm a Marxist!)
Back to the topic at hand, now - the underlying theme I hear in this discussion is that we all wish we could discribe ourselves in a few simple words, but the words we wish to use have been turned into "labels" that have been used to hurt & pigeonhole - I'm with sixsense, I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body too - but I'm also much more than that - and I also wish so many of us males didn't feel the need to be Neanderthals to prove their manhood - but then again, I see so many women throw themselves at the bad boys! Ok, rambling man is back again, what was the topic again?:rolleyes:

Well…..all that should have covered it.
 

All of peoples labeling, causes and psycho mumbo-jumbo has been interesting, but I would like to reflect on why we’ve all found a comfy seat here at Pixies. ;)

As a very SEXUAL adult I’m here with people of common interests and I want to know, Wicked Wanda, more about, and see, not the one you run too, but the “hidey hole” you keep running away WITH. :p :p :D

Dear Dear Wanda
 

:p
You were not harsh...and my feeling are not hurt at all. As a self proclaimed spokes person for the "incredibly sexual-hates to be labled-kicked around by "normal" people" person, I must admit that I LOVE to engage in discussions such as these. I like to be pushed to evaluate my thoughts and feelings on a regular basis. As a Libra (for those other astrological nuts) I crave the knowledge that gives me a balanced point of view...and I feel that discussion and evaluation prevents ignorance that hurts!

Thank you for your perspective...and your challenges. I think you have hit the nail on the head over and over. I merely hope to offer a view that separates sexual behavior from lables associated with "lifestyle".

I don't know that I am making any sense....

I come not to offend...but rather to expand! :D I love inuendos!

Ophelia

Winner!!!
 

I just wanted to proclaim this thread a winner!! :D

It has lots of information...and the longest replies!!! :D
Took me 45 minutes to read it all!!! :D ;)


But I do want to say this....

I am proud to be SEXUAL!!!!


Now what color of ribbon do I display on my coat collar??? :confused: :confused: :D :D ;)

Wonderful & thought provoking thread...

And I too can without a doubt proclaim my sexual identity!

I am....

Sexual!!!!

:D ;) :cool: :) :o :o