I need HELP!!! too
 

hmmmm...

I thought that maybe if I posted a HELP!!!!! thread, Aqua would be so kind as to post more of his delicious pics for me too.. LOL


please... post away... I am in desperate need of your help. LOL

LMAO Jenna! I think Aqua has kindness for all of us "Damsels in Distress"

You are too funny G/F!

Now quick.......lay across the railroad tracks with, what appear to be, ropes binding you!

LOL... believe me.. if I thought it would help.. I would locate the nearest railroad tracks so that Aqua wouldn't have to look far!!!

Okay... since I have no clue where those specific railroad tracks would be located... how about.. I just sit here.. hold my breath.. until I am in desperate need of CPR.. in which case.. maybe one of the wonderful Pixie Boys will help me out... hmmm... Aqua?? Skipthisone?? Clint?? Come on boys.... I am waiting... LOL... the blue is setting in (I didn't realize us females had a blue problem, but believe me.. we do.. or atleast I do). LOL

OMG!!!!!!! What a coincidence!!!!!! I need help too........ he is a Superfriend and always knows when we are in need of a hero......

Oh where oh where has my Aquaman gone???
Oh where oh where can he be??????
(I think that was UNDERDOG but hell it might work *shrugs*)

Oh woe is me..........I am stuck in this tower and I can't get out! I will extend these long locks and hope with all hope that a sweet prince will use them to climb to my rescue........(knowing all the while.....once he get's his sweet ass up here.....I am gonna cut all my hair off!)

notice... no one has offered to help me :( waaaaaaa.... I guess blue is gonna be my typical hue forever :( I thought for sure one of the kind gents would come to my rescue.................

Sorry I heard Lixy has them all trapped in her turret...:D:D:p

LOL... maybe I can smoke em out... LOL.. anyone got a match?? :))

Oh woe is me.......I am about to be shoved in this oven by this old knarled witch! I do so hate the heat........but I have left some bread crumbs as a reminder of my path! Maybe a strong, handsome (Pixie God) will follow them and come to my rescue soon!

Hurry....it's getting hot in here! And I am running out of stories!

*Authors note: I don't think Aqua posts on the weekends...things that make ya go hmmmmm!*

*Hands jenna the whole box!*

LOL... what a horrible thing for Aqua to discover on his return Monday morning.. .the whole darn place in ashes.. .LOL We gotta get the guy some sort of connection of the weekend.. a whole 46 hour absence is enough to turn us horny Pixie women into raving lunitics... well.. I can only speak for my self.. but for me it is an accurate discription. LOL

I have bad news......... Please try to restrain yourselves....the wailing wall is over there-------------------------->

I have it on good authority that Aqua has Monday off :( sooooooooooooyou know what they say.....

while that cat's away... all the mice get alllllll the pussy:p

well ya know... maybe you need to publicize that information... I think maybe that all the male pixies believe that they are forming a line behind Aqua.. and thus since Aqua isn't around :( they are all standing still waiting for their turn...

Okay Guys.. Move ahead.. keep the line moving in an orderly fashion.. no pushing.... no line cutting... there is enough action to go around :) But for heavens sake... get MOVING already.. this pixie is losing patience. LOL

Oh woe is me..........I am on this bridge and it seems as if it is about to crumble..........

*I "bloody" well hope not....lmao! This is really a stretch...I know! But as I said...I am running outta stories! OK...back in character...........*

Oh, whatever will I do if this bridge falls down while I am crossing? I am but a "fair lady" and I just know it will be my demise. I sure hope some Pixie man/men come/s to my rescue! I would be ever so grateful!

*checking to see if there even is a line??????*

I dunno Lixy.. I am beginning to think that the topic I chose what not obvious enough for these men here at Pixies.. Typically I think that these men are very good at picking up hints... like "Help" for instance.. but I am beginning to think that the recent full moon has resulted in the need of using a club over their heads.. LOL.

I have already posted an easily understandable sign for them to read before they proceed.. you know.. like the ones you find just before you enter the line for the rollercoaster... you know the the ones... hold on tight.. those with weak hearts and bad backs may not want to proceed... take off all jewelry... take off all clothing... be prepared to get wet!!!!!!!!!

Oh woe is me.......I am walking through this forest with my picnic basket and I am heading towards Grand-Mama's house.

*oops! Did I forget my panties again????* (Pumping up the volume here ladies!) OK...back in character.........

I just know she'll love these goodies I have prepared. Holy frieolies! *making the aghast look*......Is that a "Big Bad Wolf"?.....(or is my ass a piano?)

OK....these stories are pretty boring without my narration.......back in character again......

I do so hope that a Pixie type lumberjack will come and save me before the Big Bad Wolf comes and eats me all up!

WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!!....."Hi ya wolf, buy me a drink?"

Hey.....a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do! In other words......Any port inna storm!!!!!!!

OK.......Well.........let's try this then!

Oh woe is me...........I am sitting on this......um....this tuffet thingy (whatever that is...I don't think I ever sat on one!) and I am eating this delicious.......ah...um.....curds and whey stuff (Blah!) and lo and behold I see a great big spider suspended from what looks like nowhere spindling down from this silky string coming out of his ass (as far as I can tell). Oh I do so hate spiders...they scare the bejesus outta me. I hope a big, strong Pixie type farmer (?) will come along soon and save me from running away before I can finish this really delicious goop I am munching!

I gotta tell ya...I love this thread! Now help us damn it!

HELP IS ON IT"S WAY
 

Not wanting to see any of our fair damsels in distress,
I hop in my trusty vehicle and race to the rescue.

All aboard! :D

HELP IS ON IT'S WAY (Pt 2)
 

Just to show the depths of my concern, I set up this special "aid station." See, there is caring left in this world :D

*Narrator*~ Is Aqua too late to save the Pixies' Damsels in Distress? Will he be able to post in time? Has Dicksbro already saved the day?

(Sorry, I know Superheroes generally don't take days off... but most Superheroes don't have families either... :rolleyes2 )

*Lilith feigns fainting*

Oldie but a goodie...
 

This might help...

I was thinking mouth to mouth but that would work too ;)

here comes your superhero girls!!!! what can i do for you? uups oh i see aqua was here already, so i better leave again. :)
however if i can help you in the future just call me and i be there (if im online) *g*

..your wish is my command..your superhero aka hot9000

oh a girl (or girls) can never have too many superheroes.....:p

Well, ladies, it looks like my job is done. I'll be riding (in my rescue vehicle) off into the sunset leaving Jennaflower waiting at the "aid station" for ya' Aqua.

(Picking up his trusty air guitar, Dicksbro leaps for the rescue vehicle's door ... which, unfortunately ... wasn't open at the time. Stumbling to the driver's seat, the crowd at Dicksbro Dick's listens as he cries out ... "Hiyo Ohio, Toledo, Oh My...O ... here I come.")

Oh woe is me!........I can see all the other damsels have had heros cum to their rescue but...............................


*Feigns fainting....backhand attached firmly to her forhead!*


Oh woe is me.........Here I am in this gigantic (really stinky ) boot with all these children running around (as if I am the "Kool Aid" mom) and I just don't know what to do! However will I get a babysitter for all of them so that I can go carousing? OH!....I mean....so I can go to work to make money to feed them all? I think I need some kind of Superhero too!

And BTW Aqua...........that curve you got going on!....Oh babe.....you got it going on! *truly faints (ever so conveniently) onto Aqua's lap, ass first, high above the trusty sword!*

This trusty sword??? ;)

Or is it a skin flute for Jennaflower?? :p

MY HERO!!!!!!

*THUD*!

Fortunately, Dicksbro carefully avoiding the sunset he was riding into, had his CB on and overheard the plantive cry of Lixy.

Woulds't (or however they spell that stuff in the stories) thou seek a brave rescuer. One who is noble, honest, ... and horny as heck? :)

oh MY......... I think you all arrived a little too late.. and I must have died and gone to heaven... cuz all I can hear is the wonder sound of flutes...

YUMMMMMMMY........... I REALLY need CPR now... be still my heart!

Screeching to a stop by the aid station, the noble hero runs in and takes Jennaflower in his arms, reviving her with a tender kiss and a stiff cock.

"Now, fair one, play the flute as never before!"

Gotta say.......I am ROFLMFAO! I have tears streaming down my face! I can't stop laughing! I am gonna pee these knickers! (a Bo-Peep reference).

db.....I am so glad you didn't ride straight into that sun! OMG! (still laughing) And it's amazing the range that there CB get's way out here in Nursery Rhyme land! (still laughing) Oh and what a resume.....Noble, Honest AND Horny as Heck! (still ROFLMAO!)

OK.....omg....here we go again!

Oh woe is me.........Here I am standing knee deep in sheep poop and nary a sheep to be seen! Whatever am I to do? Poppa will kick my butt when he finds I have lost the whole flock!

*Startled look....off to the north* What the heck is going on over there? (Realizing all the sheep are down on the North Fourty and all the farmhands and Poppa as well are having their way with them!) I really need a hero.....One who hasn't dipped his wicket into a sheep!.....To heck with the sheep...I just want a hero again!

Having completed the flute tune, Dicksbro stands up ... gives the fair maiden a mushy kiss and says, "Harken, I hear yon plaintive call from a damsel in distress (distress is another word for sheep poop). Her knickers are drenched and need changing and her feet need washing."

Driving next to that yucky pond, Dicksbro uses the super hero crane to reach out and pull our fair Lixy to safety. (He sure didn't want to wade in :D)

"I've solved the problem of your father. Once we've celebrated the rescue, I'll pad thy lovely bottom with this finely crafted pillow." The pillow is much like a chastity belt, but with a one number (four) combination lock. It was safe from dad, he could only count to three.

Turning on Bolero in the rescue vehicle, Dicksbro proceeds to celebrate the rescue. He's heard to say, "I love this hero stuff!"

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!.........I can't pee anymore! If I do I just know I will be hospitalized!

It's so amazing that you have a time machine and can retrieve all these new fangled, fancy, machinery thingy's, db! And, WHEW! TY for remembering Poppa could only count to three.......after that farm accident cut off his thumb and index finger on his right hand and his entire left hand as well! (OMG........Pee break!)

What a big....."backhoe" ya have! (Imagining you saying..."The better to pluck you with my dear!")

Hey db...nice tunage! What is that confounded thing that plays thy harp so well? And does it make toast?....I am starving! Not to mention I am.....multi-dimensional....flipping from Fairy Tales to Classical Bolero!

OK.......I have another........(ain't I just a pain in the chastity belt?)

Oh woe is me...........Waaaaaaaaa! Here I hang all the way up in this Giant Redwood in my cradle! I have been here so long I have developed breasts! I wonder if a big strong Pixie type (arborist) is ever gonna come along and get me outta this tree top! These hurricane winds are getting on my nerves and the birds have made so many nests from my basket-like cradle.......I am gonna fall in a week or so since I know this limb I am on is weakening. That's if I keep getting fed these plump worms! Oh my.....I need another hero!

The flute player was Jennaflower, she's the first to yell help, looking for Aqua. (Had to do something).

You are lucky, the Dicksbro Care Car becomes erect at times and curves up .. just barely reaching the top of the Giant Redwood and your cradle.

First thought ... "nice breasts." Sorry, that's just a man-thing.

Couldn't help much with the nests, but did line each with newspaper. Dang birds were pooping all over the Care Car.

Either you can climb aboard and we'll wait for a cold shower (makes the erection fade), ... or ... I can catch you when the limb breaks. (Every good hero has a backup plan :) )

(Are you sure that was a worm you were eating?)

Hugs ... :D

From the Ozarks comes the thunder of mighty hooves and a hearty "Woah Mule! Wooooahhhh!" *Wham* "When I says woah, I means woah!"

*Hopping off the now-dazed mule and striding to the tree, spurs clinking on the ground* Where's this damsel in distress? looking up into the tree and spying her in her pricarious perch..."Fear not Fair Maiden IIILLLL save you!" and using his spurs as spikes he begins climbing toward her lofty bower....

As the bough breaks........I seem to float to the ground! Ever so grateful.....(yet skeptical that an erection can reach to the top of a Giant Redwood).....I don't look a gift-hero in the mouth! Instead, I drop to my kness to check out this magnificent "Readwood plucker"!

MY HERO!......(music expanding......."Is that Bolero I hear"?