After spending several hours helping Rocky get around earlier this morning, I've called the vet and scheduled an appointment for this evening at 5:15pm.

He's so weak today (started weakening yesterday) and has lost power of his left hind leg. It drags and trips him up and when he falls it's as though he thinks I did something to him to hold him back from getting to wherever it is he is trying to go. He is disoriented at times and he has a look in his eyes that makes him almost unrecognizable. He barely blinks and if it wasn't for my being able to see that he is breathing with his belly going up and down, I would have sworn he was gone on a few occasions that I looked into his eyes.

He's always hoovered over his water bowls/glasses. It seems to comfort him to be close to his water. I think it's part of his hyperthyroid condition. So, while I wait for Mr. Lixy to come home, I've put one of his favorite blankies on the kitchen floor between his water bowl and his food bowl (they are on separate sides of the room) and aided him to lay on it. Every now and then I'll look up from whatever I am doing and find that he has drug himself off the blanket and is laying on the cold floor. I cringe when I discover this. I'm not sure where he is trying to go but it must be so frustrating not to be able to get there.

I've poured a glass of wine for myself, in a effort to calm my nerves. Scarecrow recently made a thread of who we'd want to talk to if we had a little time and could reach them. I know many of you who would have thought, "If they could just talk and tell me how they are feeling". I'm thinking that exact thing right now! He's talking to me in the only way he can and I am talking to him in some of his favorite phrases (though I haven't mentioned tuna to him at all today) and I'm hoping he can't feel my pain and anguish.

To sit here and type is helping a bit. I get up and check on him nearly every minute. I'm wishing that he'll die here, before the appointment. I hate the thought of his nervousness as we get in the car and then go into the vets office. This is his final day and I just wish there was something so special I could do for him to make it as comfortable and fear/pain free as possible. I hate this helpless feeling.

I know I'm not alone because of all your expressions of caring and comfort above...but it sure feels lonely in this house today! Please keep us in your thoughts throughout the day and evening. And keep good thoughts for a swift and painless passing for Rocky!

TY for listening...again...(((((EVERYONE)))))

__________________
Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~