A little better this morning, but still a lost feeling that Rocky wasn't demanding breakfast or pushing the bathroom door open to stare at me on the throne.

I had my bathrobe strewn across the foot of my side of the bed last night. When I got under the covers it felt like Rocky was lying down there (as he usually did) and I fully expected to feel him get up to circle me like I am the wagon train and he is the indians. He did that most every night. I was so exhausted but couldn't close my eyes. I couldn't see anything but a glimmer of light outside from our X-mas lighting. All I could feel was the weight at my feet and it must have been soothing enough to put me to sleep eventually. I slept till 10am. It wasn't a deep sleep because I remember seeing the clock at 1:30, 3:46, 7:01 and then again at 10. I fought to get up because I knew what I had to contend with when I came downstairs.That Mr. Lixy was here this morning was better than yesterday morning, when I was alone.

Mr. Lixy is a rock. He's sad, but very understanding and comforting of me in my state. He handles death differently than I do. I've seen that when his Pop and his uncle passed away. He's more relieved for the deceased, than selfish in his own feelings of loss. I wish I could be more like him in that respect. It seems to hurt less.

I know the stages of mourning and I'm handling them as best as I can. Writing all this down is helping. Keeping it all in is just not my style. Thanks for reading, sharing and caring!

(((((EVERYONE)))))

__________________
Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~