As Dicksbro began his search for the fair Jenna, he noticed a petite young maiden sitting on a nearby bench. Stopping in front of her, he hears her say, "Oh woe is me! What the hell is this plum doing on my thumb? All I said to Momma is, 'Oh dear Momma, I would so love to have a plum pie!' I remember Momma handing me a slice and all of a sudden I have this plum stuck here on my thumb. And what the hell does S&M mean? What time is it anyway? OMG.....My butt is killing me! Holy Moly.....that ain't no plum! Oh gawdddddd.....I need a superhero to figure this out!!!! Momma??? Am I still a good boy???"

Not wishing to leave her in such turmoil, Dicksbro responds. "Aye, young Lixy (her name was't embroi ... sewn ... on her blouse), tis true that tis no plum. Yet, it too can quencheth thy tormenting thirst," he said pointing to the abundant stain on the front of his tights. "And, thouest silly fair Lixy ... thou are not a good boy ... but, thou can surely have all the good boys thou wishes for. Especially if thy quencheth thy thirst on purple nobs like mine."

"And do not worrys't thou pretty head about the time, twill only takest thou a very few minutes to satiate thou thirst, I promiseth thee (damn it's hard to talk like that). For thou sore bottom, per chance thou woulds't like to move over a bit so thou are not sittingeth on the branch of thorns laying there on the bench. Verily, I say to you, that woulds't certainly help alleviate the pain in thou butteth."

Finally, fair maid, S&M is a question that takes much time to explain. Perhaps, once I find the fair Jenna, we can take time and really "tie" into that discussion. Here, takest thou these soft silken cords and go to my residence. Undress and position thyself on the bed with thy fair arms near the bedposts at the head of the bed and thou legs spreadeth and positioned near to the bedposts at the foot of the bed. I'll return most directly to explain all of S&M's finer points. While thou waitest, spend time 'S'avoring and 'M'editating on all thou horniest thoughts and desires."

Think alsoeth of the old saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones ... but whips and chains excite me."