I'm new so this may be pointless but here goes anyway... being southern I'm pretty aware that some guys are horrified to think they could be less than sufficient in bed. They seem to think sex is just something you do to pass time. It seems you've tried to reach him conventionally and it hasn't worked. The others have a point about an ultimatum but he'll most likely balk or take it as an insult and label you as being unreasonable. Male prudes are always so damn close minded about things. You're either with them or wrong. I was going to suggest a good therapist but he'd just find fault there too I suppose. My heart goes out to you Hon. I've know several marriages that came apart from these same things. If I could help by listening sometime don't hesitate to message me. I'll keep good thoughts for You.....

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As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will. He will be sure to repent - Socrates

Love is not looking in each other's eyes, but looking together in the same direction - Antoine De Saint-Exupery