If she is 'obsessed' with swinging, but it's not your cup of tea, how about a compromise?

Try sitting at the computer and writing an erotic story together about swinging. Let her go through the kind of scenario she has in her head, and you can contribute things that you think would be hot.

Once you're pleased with it, you could even post it here and see what feedback you get from others. I personally find it exciting when I write something that turns other people on.

Of course, the other thing you might try eventually, if you're brave is posting pictures here. I don't know a single person who hasn't felt liberated by the experience, and you can show as little or as much as you want - you'd be amazed how much you can get camera angles, lighting and cropping the finished pictures to work for you. I have pictures on here that I can't believe are really me, and it does so much for your confidence. Again, is also exciting to find out that you are attractive to other people, and trust me when I say, we don't go in for perfection around here. Chances are, the parts of your bodies that you worry the most about, are the parts that other people will be fascinated by.

Anyway, that's all I can think of off the top of my head right now. Good luck and good on you both for wanting to put in the effort still after 12 years and 3 kids. If there were more couples like you out there, I expect the divorce rate would be much lower!

__________________
"Time flies like an arrow -
Fruit flies like a banana"

M Y - N A U G H T Y - P I C T U R E S ! !