I spent the night in jail because I tried to hump the pretty news reporter who just wanted to interview me for "Steamy Sex with IowaMan Day" yesterday. There weren't any still pics but the video was on the 10pm news.

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It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.

No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac

Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."

An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"

Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus