I don't need to reread it thank-you. He was arguing exactly the same point as me - that some people say it is important and others say it isn't. His argument is that either way, it's ok to cheat, my argument is that either way it's not.

You're argument doesn't stand up. Here's a specific example:

Personally, in my marriage I think sex is very important, but we don't have a great deal of it at the moment - Fussy didn't find me particularly sexy during my pregnancy and now we have a young baby sapping our energy. However much I understand the need for sex, I would not tolerate Fussy cheating on me, since, as others pointed out, cheating is deception. If we were in an open relationship, then sex outside of it would not be cheating and to use the word in those terms is just being lazy with the English language.

It's a very male (sorry to generalise, but it's true) assumption that the actual act of sex is what causes the harm in a relationship. In fact it's usually the lies and the humiliation of it which hurts the most.

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