I'm perfectly willing to accept the consequences for my posts. If I sometimes come across as a jerk or an ass because my opinion is unpopular then I can either choose to keep quiet or I can live with what I've said. To be honest I've filtered every one of my responses in this thread through my wife, which I hardly ever do. But I've wanted to get someone else's opinion on whether I was being too harsh. There are a few posts where I had to soften what she's said for fear I'd come off as even more of a jerk than I seem to be gaining a reputation to being.

I honestly don't feel as if I have been judgmental about her relationship since I've said many times if it's working for them then that's fine but it would not work for me. I've been very careful to address my replies as they would apply to me.

Now I haven't once in any of my posts condoned cheating in her case which is the original subject of this thread. So if anyone cares what my solution would most likely be it would be this. After a month with no sex I would ask if anything is wrong. If I had done something to push her away. Knowing me though I wouldn't be polite about it the first time but would change my tune soon enough and honestly ask what the problem is and what I can do to fix the lack of physical intimacy. If that didn't fix the problem or there seemed to be a consistent pattern of no sex for an extended period followed by one time then a month without I would ask for some couples counseling.

My wife and I have a young daughter and live in a small house. Our daughter shares our room with us, something we really need to rectify. Until then though we decided a long time ago that the physical part of our relationship was important and we would take steps to keep it alive. Our living room floor has seen more action in the past three years than in the previous 15 years of our relationship combined. Any couple that wants to have sex can figure out a way to do it. I honestly think she is making excuses for why they haven't had sex in over 13 months. I also think that there are worse things in the world than for a kid to see his parents having sex. It happens, practically everyone I know has walked in on their parents. Besides the kid is nine, in the past 13 months he hasn't spent the night at a friends house, or gone to the movie with a friend? Are these not all valid questions and oppurtunities? I'm not trying to be judgmental with these questions I'm just trying to figure things out and offer solutions to their situation.