People make fun of Van Damme's first two movies, Bloodsport and Kickboxer, but I love 'em. Yes, the 80s music is cheesy. Yes, Van Damme has an incredibly limited range. Yes, both have glaring inaccuracies about what they are supposed to portray - indeed, Bloodsport is something of a vehicle for a renowned martial arts fraud - but I love 'em! Both have plenty of action and great villains

"I'm Lin. You Jackson? You look like a Jackson!"
"Very good. But brick not hit back!"
"Legs?!? Dis guy was kicking one of deese with his fucking legs! Until plaster was falling down!"

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I want to know everything
I want to be everywhere
I want to fuck everyone in the world
I want to do something that matters