We know stuff about tanks.

Our bathroom lines are 80 percent shorter.

When clicking through TV channels, We don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.

Guys in hockey masks don't attack us.

We can go to the bathroom without a support group.

We can kill our own food.

We get to think about sex 90 percent of our waking hours.

We get to jump up and slap stuff.

One mood, all the time.

We can admire Clint Eastwood without starving ourself to look like him.

With 400 million sperm per shot, we could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.

We can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.

Bachelor parties beat the shit out of bridal showers.

Someday we'll be a dirty old man.

We never have to miss a sexual opportunity because we're not in the mood.

If something mechanical doesn't work, we can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.

Porn movies are designed with our mind in mind.

Our pals can be trusted never to trap you with: 'So... notice anything different?'

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