We saw my sister the day she died, and there was a lot of that talk then.

After the burial, there were cakes etc at her eldest daughter's place, which my siblings chose not to attend. If they'd been there, they may have softened their stand, but it was the hectic, almost frantic prayer and burial that got them. I think they were expecting the almost glacial pace of western funerals.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating