Personal opinion is that you should make a present of the turkey to the President for Thanksgiving. The bird gets spared (so you don't have to cry) and it's given a foster home with a lifetime of free food (hard to beat that). Finally, who knows, you may find as a gift to the government you become entitled to a federal pension. (Who knows what strange laws were put on the books to preserve America's fine pork barrel tradition.) In any case, you might find you get your picture on front page of some of the nation's leading tabloids!

Wow, you really know how to rig the game!

If you're a little reluctant to do this, you could tell them that Dicksbro suggested this. They'll all say, "Who ITF is that?" but rather than risk offending some really important politician, they'll bend over backwards to give the bird and it's gracious donor high praise for generosity. Governments work like that.