i found this poem and your comment reminded me of it

THE PERFECT MAN IS GENTLE,
NEVER CRUEL OR MEAN.
HE HAS A BEAUTIFUL SMILE
AND KEEPS HIS FACE SO CLEAN.
THE PERFECT MAN LIKES CHILDREN
AND WILL RAISE THEM BY YOUR SIDE.
HE WILL BE A GOOD FATHER,
A GOOD HUSBAND TO HIS BRIDE.
THE PERFECT MAN LOVES COOKING,
CLEANING AND VACUUMING TOO.
HE'LL DO ANYTHING IN HIS POWER
TO CONVEY HIS FEELINGS OF LOVE TO YOU.
THE PERFECT MAN IS SWEET,
WRITING POETRY FROM YOUR NAME,
HE'S A BEST FRIEND TO YOUR MOTHER
AND KISSES AWAY YOUR PAIN.
HE NEVER HAS MADE YOU CRY
OR BATTERED YOU IN ANY WAY.
TO HELL WITH THIS ENDLESS POEM...
THE PERFECT MAN IS GAY.