Hi, Aquachicken, and welcome to the Pixies' family...

The others who have responded are all very correct --- you two need to relax, and not focus on her orgasm as a goal. Some women can't climax at all; and most can only climax in a very loving, secure, and long-term relationship, where there is plenty of passion but no pressure. You should know, too, that very few women reach orgasm every time they have sex. The thing to keep in mind is that no orgasm definitely doesn't equal no enjoyment!!! Orgasms feel great, it's true, but everything sexual you do should be about bringing pleasure. At its best, sex is about sharing and joy and love and bliss. Play with it, make it fun, and focus on the journey, not on the destination. Particularly if she has feelings of guilt associated with sex (and everyone I have met who thinks masturbation is wrong also has some negative feelings about sex, especially pre-marital sex) it's going to take her some time to relax enough to reach orgasm. Meanwhile, you both need to chill out and enjoy the ride --- don't make her climax the focus or else the pressure may prevent her from ever getting there!

Now, it sounds to me that we need a little clarification here one way or the other about what constitutes an orgasm. From what you've said, it actually sounds like she has orgasmed, but like Nubian says, I wasn't there... There's a difference between a clitoral orgasm and a g-spot orgasm, both in terms of the sensation and of the amount of female ejaculate released. Just because you haven't been flooded with her cum may not mean that she has not orgasmed.

That said, Lilith's point that some women just can't quite let go and achieve that ultimate release is very very true. Personally, it took me a long time to get over that hump and learn to ride the wave. It can be a frightening loss of control when it's new!

One more thought, and it's one I hesitate to raise, but I think you need to consider it: how much of her thrashing and moaning and so on is real? Her reaction may be completely legitimate, in which case I apologize sincerely for even mentioning this, but it sounds so over-the-top (especially for someone inhibited by anti-sex beliefs such as masturbation being wrong) that I have to wonder if there isn't an element of acting there. It's all too easy (as a woman, and I'm sure as a man as well) to fall into the trap of thinking you have to behave like you're in a movie when you have sex. There are two big problems with that, of course: (1) your partner doesn't realize you're not being honest, so the communication breaks down and you can't set things right; and (2) you get so caught up in acting like your cumming that you aren't really focussed on what you're actually feeling, so you not only prevent your partner from knowing how to help you cum, you also prevent yourself from being fully present in that moment and therefore you prevent yourself from having an orgasm.

Now, as I say, I honestly don't know whether any of this is the case with you and your girlfriend, so if you're sure that it's not a factor then please disregard what I've said --- but if there's any doubt in your mind, then please, please make sure that you talk it out with her and clarify what's going on!!!

Good luck to both of you, in and out of bed!

--- sweetstuff

p.s. As Scotz says, good for you for putting htis much energy into pleasing your girlfriend. It should be something that everyone can take for granted, but sadly for far too many women (and especially young women with inexperienced partners) it doesn't pan out that way!

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"You can't test courage cautiously." --- Annie Dillard