On the first issue - accept that the situations she talks about are in the past, and as lilith mentioned - she is with you now. However, in your defense - I think if you have explained to her that it makes you uncomfortable (which I could see why) and she continues to do it then you have a whole 'nother problem entirely.

On the second situation - vibes are addicting. My bf had a problem with it in the beginning because sometimes I would just want so bad to reach for the bullet in the middle of sex. What can I say, its like cigarette addiction! I would think "boy this is great, but if I could feel that vibe on my clit it would be better". He eventaully learned not to hate it so much, and I learned not to use it so much (because it was making him feel like you feel). I would suggest a compromise.

__________________
Would you like more sex with that?

I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.