I'm with JoyRider and Lilith.

Parenthood is more than a fulltime job. It is the most exhausting, expansive, and worthwhile job many people ever devote themselves to. It was very easy for me and my gal to blink our eyes and find that a year had passed and that we had never spent time on ourselves or each other. Repeat this for a couple of more years, and two people can find themselves terrified of being alone together.

We have worked very hard at rediscovering each other. It has taken a long time to make very small strides, and we still don't always find the time to be together as much as we would like. A life with my offspring but without my spouse is not a life that I want to lead, either through actual divorce or through the "invisible divorce" of parallel lives, but it really takes a lot of work. I think that the progressive alienation of our marriage under the accumulated stress of parenthood and work would have been the default outcome if we didn't work extra hard to bring about another one.

Best of luck to you and your family. You are in my thoughts and prayers.