When i was rather young, i snuck into my older brother's bedroom and snooped around. i came a cross a Penthouse, or Playboy, that he had stashed. There were these beautiful women that were naked and showing off their privates and touching themselves. so from then on, i had it in my head that to be beautiful, i had to touch myself like that. That in turn, lead to the discovery of orgasm. I was only 6 at that time, and didn't even know what it was called. I remember thinking that i shouldn't do "that" anymore because if i ever had to go to the doctor that i would be found out.

I had sex for the first time with a guy i barely knew, but i just wanted to lose my virginity just to get it done. That was 2 weeks before my 16th birthday. It was ok, but i knew that there had to be more fun to be had. I went on a sex spree then, to find a guy that could bring me to orgasm during sex. All were disappointing experiences; they just wanted to get in, get off, and be done. I then got pregnant at 19 and we got engaged and moved in with each other. It was then that i had my first orgasm during sex. It was great, and i wanted him all the time, and i was lucky if i got it once or twice a week. 6 months after our son was born, we broke up and i moved out.

It was then that i had a good friend from High school move in with me. One night, as we were driving home from work, she confessed that she was a lesbian, and she had a crush on me. I had never thought to sleep with another woman, but that night we kissed. It didn't feel dirty or wrong like i thought it would, it felt good actually. We became lovers and it was some of the best sex i have ever had. I fell in love with her, but living in a small Iowa town where there were many "Upstanding church going folk" that wouldn't understand us. It wore on our relationship. We were tired of being secret, but we couldn't afford to move to a bigger city where we could walk hand in hand down the street. We broke up and i moved in with my parents for a while.

Meanwhile my son's dad wanted me back, so i did the rebound thing and much later became pregnant with our daughter. Again that didn't work out, and i became so jaded about sex and love and all that mess that i didn't want to find anyone else. Oh, he and i would have sex now and again when we were horny, but i stayed away from any possibility of finding anyone, because i had it in my head that i wasn't worthy enough to be in a relationship. So i would develop crushes and became very good at fantisizing about them. of course they would never know. I got very good at pleasing myself with the stories i created in my head.

I shared one of my stories with a gal pal of mine once while we were drinking, not expecting anything, just doing a round of truth or dare, and the story wasn't even remotely related to her. That ended up as a good 3-some with her, her boyfriend and myself. And then again another several months later.

And then, THEN, i was introduced to Pixies (again, thank you Lost!) and i found myself coming back to life! Sex isn't such a blase' thing for me anymore. But more than that, i found that i was interesting to people. All of my friends here have been so hot, i mean welcoming, and that i am a sexy woman again. I have so much fun here! And the biggest bonus of it all, is that I found a wonderful, sexy Pixies man who takes my breath away! (Kisses and hugs to you, Babe!)

So for sexual awakenings, i have had a few, but i went back to sleep again, but now, NOW, I am fully awake and ready to take the bull by his horns! And show off my boobies every now and again, tee hee

Love you all, Lizz