would swallow my pride,
I would choke on the rhines,
but the lack thereof
would leave me empty inside.
I would swallow my doubt,
turn it inside out,
find nothing but faith
in nothing.
I want to put my tender
heart in a blender,
watch it spin around
to a beautiful oblivion.
Rendezvous
then I'm through with you.
I burn burn
like a wicker cabinet,
chalk white
and oh so frail.
I see our time
has gotten stale.
The tick tock
of the clock is painful,
so sane and logical.
I want to tear it
off the wall.
I hear words
and clips and phrases.
I think sick
like ginger ale.
My stomach turns
and I exhale.

So Cal is where
my mind states,
but it's not my
state of mind.
I'm not as
ugly sad as you.
Or am I origami?
Folded up and
just pretend.
Demented as
the motives in your head.

I alone
am the one you don't
know you need.
Take heed.
Feed your ego.
Make me blind
when your eyes close sink.
When you get close,
tie me to the bedpost.
I alone
am the one you don't
know you need.
You don't know
you need me.
Make me blind
when your eyes close.
Tie me to the bedpost!

Now I'm through,
with you.
Through with you!
Rendezvous,
then I'm through with you.

__________________
Love...the slowest form of suicide.