03-01-2007, 06:17 PM
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Manwhore
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 15,495
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the acceptance that Ron Popeill is really God in human form and that we exist only to use his brilliant inventions." Travolta stops drumming his fingers and gets his secretary on the phone. "Bjork, I need you to connect me to...
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Put me on wheels and I'll turn tricks.
Clever? Nah, I ran out of that years ago. But if you find this, let me know, k?
"The road goes ever on..." ~ Tolkien
In memory of my friend skip...
Go then, there are other worlds than these 
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03-01-2007, 08:28 PM
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pixie of the wood
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 10,575
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the flying spaghetti monster.” “ja,” she replies, “vight avay, herrn travolta.” she taps the button on her phone next to the white label marked WWTFSMD and as john travolta watches his monitor in growing horror, john edwards’ cell phone begins to ring at the same exact time! “bjork! abort! abort now!” he shrieks. he runs to hide in the closet, grabbing a cornish game hen on the way. it’s been cooked to rapturous perfection in the compact rotisserie, its impeccable texture enhanced only by the flavor injector set that came free when he purchased within the next ten minutes. after he wipes the grease from his hands, he feels much calmer. he now knows who he must speak with if he is to rise above this latest betrayal. as the discarded bones lay at his feet, he presses the i.c.e button on his watch. the glowing digital readout disappears and is replaced by the face of gary coleman. “gary! the worst has happened!” warns travolta. “whachoo talkin’ about, john?” gary barks. “we need your help, gary. you’re the only one small enough … plan B must be enacted … you must descend the depths of the sewers … you’re the only one small enough. we need you to find …
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03-02-2007, 03:21 AM
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Leo was right
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Eastern Iowa
Posts: 17,778
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...... Paris Hilton's innocence. It is the only thing that can bring any sort of sanity and order back into this world. We believe she left her innocence in a pair of panties that were discarded in a Hollywood alley about six years ago when she was ............"
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It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.
No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac
Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."
An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"
Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus
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03-02-2007, 04:10 AM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: London, UK
Posts: 4,505
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... trying to seduce David Furnish in some wild vendetta against Elton John. She's obviously gone too far this time, so I think we need to call in...
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Erotically yours... Gus 
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03-02-2007, 10:37 AM
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pixie of the wood
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 10,575
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beloved singer and star of over 4 billion tv shows and movies (including her own reality series), liza minelli! she is the secret society’s foremost authority on discarded panties and girls who capitalize on their parent’s fame and/or money. however, there is a challenge … she can only be summoned from her lair by flicking the nose of fellow washed-up singer and beloved darling of gay men across the globe, tiffany, while chanting "i stuff my bra with mammary foam," but tiffany hasn’t been seen since …
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03-02-2007, 02:05 PM
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Leo was right
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Eastern Iowa
Posts: 17,778
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... they closed The Gap store in her local mall. The search for her would be too costly so rather than spend the money, a call was made to Dr. Phil who arrived at the scene with.........."
__________________
It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.
No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac
Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."
An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"
Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus
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03-02-2007, 02:51 PM
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pixie of the wood
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 10,575
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you guessed it … oprah. after she dispatched her manservant clint with a 9mm and threw him in lake michigan for daring to question her all mighty power, she continued monitoring mobile frequencies and thus was laying in wait for dr phil in his garage. just as he opened the car door, she stepped out of the shadows, waving her gun, “i’m coming with you, mcgraw, and don’t even think about trying to stop me. i made yuo and i can crush you. i will be the one to break this story, and you're gonna to help me … and if you refuse,” her evil grin glowed ghostly in the dim garage, “i'll tell the entire world how you …
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